I just don't understand

I have this friend, R. Her and I have been friends since she moved to New Jersey when we were in the fifth grade. We bonded over the fact that both of our parents got divorced within months of each other and none of our other friends could even begin to imagine what that felt like. She was my rock. In middle school we hung almost every single day. We went on vacations with each other, constantly got in trouble when we hung out and never had fights or drama. It was great.

When we went to college, me to Maryland and her all the way to Ohio, our talks and visits became less and less. However I never worried, because once we did speak it was like no time had passed at all. She was the kind of person where you could just pickup where you left off and no awkward pauses.

Through college and after graduation our visits and phone chats were sporadic at best. But I never worried. Then she went through a really tough time in her personal life. She dropped out of college with only a semester left of school, had some psychological, her boyfriend of over a year broke up with her, and a bunch of other things that I don’t feel comfortable saying here.

I tried to be there the best I could. I went down to visit her whenever I could. Even with all the drama going on I felt that our friendship was getting stronger. We talked more frequently, saw each other, and texted constantly.

All of a sudden, she dropped off the face of the planet. She stopped returning my calls and texts. Hasn’t answered any of my e-mails. Everything just stopped.

At first I was really worried about her. I was afraid something bad happened and I just wanted to talk to her and let her know that I was there for her. However there was no way of getting in touch. I still kept on calling and texted up to now.

A few weeks ago she registered for facebook. I was excited because here was another way that I could hopefully get in touch with her. So I friended her, which she accepted and then sent her a message letting her know that I missed her and why hasn’t she returned any of my calls. I didn’t write on the wall because I didn’t want people to see our business. I never got an answer. I know that she saw the message because she is on the thing almost everyday talking to other people, commenting on photos and becoming friends with other people. Not only that, but she posted dozens of pictures. Pictures of her with friends, going out, going to concerts, going on vacation, you know, just doing normal things.

Why the fuck isn’t she answering???

I am furious. I just can’t understand why she would cut me out of her life like that. It’s not like anything happened between us that she maybe mad at me. It’s like she just woke up one day and decided not to be my friend anymore. I just wish I could talk to her. If she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore I at least deserve her telling that to my face. I need some kind of explanation as to why.

I don’t know what to do. And I’m really upset that she of all people stopped talking to me. I always considered her to be one of my best friends and someone I could always count on. Now I don’t know what to think anymore.