Am I missing something?

This past weekend was kinda strange. A really good family friend gave birth to a little girl on Saturday. My mom and I went to the hospital to see the baby. She is adorable. We only stayed a short time and then we all went out to lunch while the new mom rested up. It was great seeing them since it had been a while and felt good to catch up. I have known these people my entire life; they are more like family then friends. Whenever we see them it’s like no time has past. There were no awkward lulls in conversation; it feels like it was just yesterday since we last saw each other.

Then on Sunday, a really good friend of mine called me to tell me that she is engaged! They have been dating for over six years (since high school) and he finally popped the question. While I’m not surprised that they are engaged, I still can’t believe it. She’s a year younger then me! I feel like it was just yesterday we were playing with our Barbies in my basement.

I feel old. With these two events that happened this weekend I feel like a grown up. Actually scratch that. I feel like a kid trapped in an adult’s body. All these people I know who are around my age are reaching these huge milestones in their lives and I’m nowhere near reaching them. It’s not that I am jealous or feel left out (I do a little) it’s that I feel way to young to even be thinking about those things, let alone actually doing them. I have no urge to grow up that quickly.

However I am an adult, I feel like I should be thinking about these things. Why aren’t these things even remotely close to my list of priorities? I cannot even adequately express my confusion with this matter. I can’t describe how I feel right now. I couldn’t be happier for these people, truly, but it makes me worry about why I’m not thinking about these things and why I’m not being proactive to grow up. Am I making any sense right now?????