Week 3

This is my third week at work. I can't believe how fast time is going by! I am so much happier lately it's crazy. The job itself is good, a lower stress level than before which is awesome. I can really see myself being here for a while. A nice change from before, when I couldn't wait to get out of there. I already feel like I'm making good work friends, when at my last job I never really felt that. It took forever to really get to know some people and talk to them about things other than work. I think the big difference is here there is a cafeteria where we eat lunch. Everyone sits together and just talks. Before I always ate at my desk, which makes social interaction very limiting.

Don't get me wrong, the first week I was super awkward. Especially about lunch, it felt like high school. Not knowing where to sit. Even though I felt weird and nervous, I just sat down with a group and they were all really nice. That's the other thing. I feel more outgoing than usual. Before I would be way too nervous and would probably just eat at my desk. I am proud of myself for dealing with my nerves and just going for it.

It's weird being like this. I'm actively trying to change myself. I used to be so stagnant and afraid of change that I wouldn't even try. I mean I used to be afraid of not just failing, but succeeding. Any kind of change to me was/is really scary.

But I'm growing and I'm seeing that you have to change. Whether you like it or now, change will happen. So why now try to work it to your own advantage? That's what I'm slowly starting to do.

I even signed up to work with a personal trainer today. My best friend's brother owns a personal training business and he gave me a great deal to work out there. I've been wanting to get healthy forever but I knew just joining a gym wasn't going to do it. I need someone to push me. I'm a pretty lazy person, even when I'm working out I'm not pushing myself hard enough. I'm doing the bare minimum. Hopefully this will help!

I'm nervous about working out though. I'm really really out of shape, so I'm scared they are going to kill me. Then there is all my knee and foot problems. I'm afraid they will limit me and hold me back. Also it's my friend's brother, who I've known forever. It's a little awkward for me to work out with him. I'm afraid he'll judge me. I almost rather a stranger be working me out, but I can't really pass up this deal and opportunity.

Keep your fingers crossed for me today!!