I just don't understand

I have this friend, R. Her and I have been friends since she moved to New Jersey when we were in the fifth grade. We bonded over the fact that both of our parents got divorced within months of each other and none of our other friends could even begin to imagine what that felt like. She was my rock. In middle school we hung almost every single day. We went on vacations with each other, constantly got in trouble when we hung out and never had fights or drama. It was great.

When we went to college, me to Maryland and her all the way to Ohio, our talks and visits became less and less. However I never worried, because once we did speak it was like no time had passed at all. She was the kind of person where you could just pickup where you left off and no awkward pauses.

Through college and after graduation our visits and phone chats were sporadic at best. But I never worried. Then she went through a really tough time in her personal life. She dropped out of college with only a semester left of school, had some psychological, her boyfriend of over a year broke up with her, and a bunch of other things that I don’t feel comfortable saying here.

I tried to be there the best I could. I went down to visit her whenever I could. Even with all the drama going on I felt that our friendship was getting stronger. We talked more frequently, saw each other, and texted constantly.

All of a sudden, she dropped off the face of the planet. She stopped returning my calls and texts. Hasn’t answered any of my e-mails. Everything just stopped.

At first I was really worried about her. I was afraid something bad happened and I just wanted to talk to her and let her know that I was there for her. However there was no way of getting in touch. I still kept on calling and texted up to now.

A few weeks ago she registered for facebook. I was excited because here was another way that I could hopefully get in touch with her. So I friended her, which she accepted and then sent her a message letting her know that I missed her and why hasn’t she returned any of my calls. I didn’t write on the wall because I didn’t want people to see our business. I never got an answer. I know that she saw the message because she is on the thing almost everyday talking to other people, commenting on photos and becoming friends with other people. Not only that, but she posted dozens of pictures. Pictures of her with friends, going out, going to concerts, going on vacation, you know, just doing normal things.

Why the fuck isn’t she answering???

I am furious. I just can’t understand why she would cut me out of her life like that. It’s not like anything happened between us that she maybe mad at me. It’s like she just woke up one day and decided not to be my friend anymore. I just wish I could talk to her. If she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore I at least deserve her telling that to my face. I need some kind of explanation as to why.

I don’t know what to do. And I’m really upset that she of all people stopped talking to me. I always considered her to be one of my best friends and someone I could always count on. Now I don’t know what to think anymore.

A great weekend

My Ski weekend was amazing. I can’t believe just how great it was. There was no drama or fighting, just good times. It was the perfect way to give me that extra shot and make everything seem OK.

Friday my friend and I headed up. There was an accident so we hit some traffic but it didn’t even matter. We were too busy catching up on our lives and just making each other laugh. Honestly the drive up was one of my favorite parts of the weekend.

We got to the place and we stayed in the nicest little apartment. There were 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, the living room was huge and the kitchen was a great size. Since there were 7 of us, it was 2 to a bedroom and one slept on the pullout couch. My friend and I got to snag the bedroom that had 2 twin beds in it. I hate having to share a bed. I toss and turn like crazy and I always feel like I’m disturbing the person in the bed. Plus I like to really stretch out in the bed. I’m worried that when I get married this will cause a problem. I’m going to end up like a 1950s housewife with 2 separate beds.

Anyway.

Friday night was kind of a chill night. We just hung out, catching up and drinking some free wine that we got. Our room had a fireplace that wouldn’t work. The maintenance man tried to fix it but couldn’t. To make up for it he brought over a couple bottles of wine for us. I’ll take free wine over a fire any time.

Saturday we got up real early. We got breakfast then broke up into groups, the skiers and the non-skiers. The skiers spent the day skiing, and we broke off and did our own thing.

First we went snow tubing. Which was SO much fun!! I’ve never been before and it was great. I can’t believe how fast you go down the hills. When you go the guy asks if you want to go straight or to spin. I told him to spin and boy did he. I was spun so fast and went flying down the hill. By the time I stopped I was crazy dizzy and a little nauseous. But totally worth it, it was exhilarating. Also? Snow tubing is actually a good workout. Dragging the tube all over and going down the hill was exhausting. When we finished I was covered in sweat. This morning, I woke up spore all over from it!

After that we went to the hot tub. The perfect way to sooth your muscles and relax afterwards. That afternoon since the skiers hadn’t gotten back yet we went to a wine tasting. That is probably the only disappointment we had. We all had never been before and were excited to learn more about wine. However the lady was a total bitch to us. She didn’t explain any of wines and when giving us our taste gave us WAY less then she was giving the other participants. I don’t know if she thought we were too young to appreciate it or something, but I was furious. However the wine was delicious and a good price so I still ended up buying 3 bottles from there.

We got back in time to have dinner with everyone and start the evening’s festivities. We meant to go out to a local bar but we started drinking early and no one was in a state to drive. But it was okay. We had a so much fun just playing drinking games and laughing all night. All in all a great way to end the day.

Sunday we got up headed to breakfast and left shortly after. My friend and I got a little lost on our way home, but we still made good time getting back. As soon as I got home I went to my room and proceeded to take a good three-hour nap. I needed it. However it wasn’t enough and I’m defiantly dragging today at work. But I don’t mind. This weekend made me feel really good and okay with where my life is right now. No need to rush growing up.

How was your weekend?

Hitting the Slopes

Real quick. Sorry about the lack of blogging this week, work was crazy and it seemed like I didn't have a minute to myself.

In about 10 minutes I will be leaving to go on a weekend Ski Trip!!! There are about 8 of us going and we are staying in alittle condo for 2 nights. We got a great deal, to good to pass up.

Unfortunatly because of my knee I can't ski. However I will be taking great advantage of snow tubing. swimming in the heated pool and enjoying great company. I will be back on Monday with a full recap!!

Have a great weekend!

A little late on the bandwagon

I really meant to write a post yesterday but the day was really busy and I blinked my eyes and it was over. I can’t really complain because I love when the day flies by like that.

Anyway, obviously yesterday was a big day but I’m tired of reading posts about it so I won’t say anything. Besides the fact my office threw a pizza party because of it and we got to watch it on a big screen. Hooray for free lunch!

Today what I want to talk about is my new favorite thing. Netflix!! I know I’m really behind on the trend but I’ve always avoided joining it. Mostly because my DVR is always full and I gotta keep up with my shows so I didn’t want to add to my list of things to see.

I noticed that they were having a free trial and I decided to give it a whirl. It’s awesome!!! The DVDs come so fast that you hardly ever have to wait. Also the selection online is so much better then going to the local blockbuster. While I love me some comedies and romance movies, I’m also really into independent films. Which blockbuster seems to NEVER carry.

Now I can get any movie I want and never leave the comfort of my home. I seriously suggest to anyone to try this out!

Spice up your life!

I want to thank you for all your suggestions! I’m not really sure how to have the money automatically taken out when I get paid, so for now as soon as I do get paid I will put the money aside manually.

What doesn’t help is the fact that as soon as I decided to start saving more my best friend plans a weekend ski trip!! However I am not deterred. I put all the numbers together and will still be able to put money aside and go on this trip!!

I’m really excited. Even though I actually can’t ski (stupid knee) there are a lot of other things for me to do. There are eight in total going on this trip and there are 2 or 3 others that won’t be skiing either. So I will have company. Plus they have Snow Tubing and I will defiantly be doing that!

This is will be a good little mini-vacation and also it will help break up the monotony in my life right now. My weeks lately have been blending together because I always do the same thing, week after week, month after month. This will hopefully ad spice to my life and I can finally feel like a normal 20-something. Seriously sometimes I feel I’m 80 because my life is so boring.

Speaking of adding spice to my life. Lately I have been thinking of joining an online dating website. This makes me really nervous, because a) I’ve heard mixed reviews and b) I have terrible self-esteem and the fear of rejection makes me have a slight panic attack.

So what do you think?

I need some pros and cons about joining a site. On the one hand I feel like I’m to young to be resorting to this yet. On the other, I haven’t met any new or interesting guys in a lonnngg time. This is what happens when you move back home and every time you go out it’s like a high school reunion.

Tightening the purse strings

In an effort to save up more money I decided that after each paycheck I will put $200 in my savings account. Here's hoping that I keep it up!! Now I know that $200 isn't a lot but I seriously make no money and that's the best I can do right now. I'm hoping that if and when I get my raise I will be able to bump up that number. But for now with my hourly rate, plus student loans, train passes and credit card statements this will have to do.

Also if I do well with budgeting, at the end of each month if I have some money left over I will put it all in my savings. Sure that means I need to really watch what I spend and no more online shopping but it'll be worth it when I slowly see my savings rise and I can finally afford to move out of my mom’s house.

Do you have any tips on saving money?? If so I need all the help I can get.