The weekend couldn’t come quicker for me. I was seriously bumming about my job and everything. I really needed a break. Thankfully the weekend provided just that.
Saturday was a snowy day. Perfect for just lounging in my PJs watching movies. Saturday night my friends and I ventured out in the snow to go to a lounge nearby. Not a lot of people were out which was nice for a change. I didn’t have to elbow my way just to get a drink. It was a nice time catching up with some friends.
Sunday I went to brunch with another friend of mine. We do this every few months in an effort to stay in better touch. She recently got engaged so I finally got to get all the details about where and when the wedding will be. It’s a little strange to think of her getting married. I just keep thinking back to when we were in high school, working as lifeguards together. I was the one who set her up with her now soon to be husband. It’s defiantly surreal.
What’s even stranger is that we used to be so close. Like if she were getting married a few years ago I would be a bride’s maid. Now that we have drifted apart, which life has a way of doing; I know I probably won’t even be considered to be one. I’m not sad about it. It’s just weird at how much has changed between us. Either way I am looking forward to seeing her walk down the aisle.
After brunch I went to go see Bride Wars with two other girls. It was cute and totally a chick flick, but I honestly thought it would be a lot funnier then it was. I still enjoyed it; I was just expecting to laugh more.
All in all it was a good weekend. It made me feel so much better after the crappy week I had. Plus I am looking forward to this coming weekend because I have off next Monday. Hooray for the upcoming three-day weekend!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Are you hiring??
Is it bad that after having 12 days off from work I am already looking forward to when I can take my next vacation?? I really wish I wasn’t like this. I am just so frustrated with my job. I’ve been back for only 4 days and already I can’t stand being back. I know I’ve mentioned this many times before, and I’m getting just as tired of it as you are probably with reading about it. But honestly, I don’t know how much longer I can take it.
It’s not just what I do here that I don’t like it’s the people. There is zero sense of camaraderie here. Everyone is plugged into their ipods or to busy making personal calls to befriend anyone. Plus my boss shows zero appreciation for all the extra work I do. Not only that but he is now actually criticizing my work that I do.
According to him I should not be making any mistakes, even small ones, EVER. Never mind the fact that I have triple the amount of work as other people. Maybe if he broke up the work a little bit I would be able to do my job much better. I hate the fact that I’m starting to slip but I literally just cannot handle this amount of work. I’m not capable. Even though I have tried to drop hints, subtle and not so subtle, he is just not doing it. He always tells me he will eventually do it, and then the whole month passes by. When will it happen??
I fear that when it comes time for my performance review, it won’t be that great because of this bullshit. You can bet your ass though that if it isn’t good I will speak up. I hate confrontation but I will not let them walk all over me.
I’ve been looking for a new job but really nothing has been peaking my interest and those that do I’m not getting any calls back from. What am I doing wrong? I know the economy is tough but geez. When am I going to get a break?
While I am scared that I won’t be able to find a good job anytime soon there is another thing I’m really scared of. Making the wrong move. What if I find a new job, take it and I hate it just as much as I hate it here? I understand in order to find what truly makes you happy there will be a certain amount of missteps, but I really don’t want to make another one when it comes to my career. I want my next career move to be the right one.
I’m just so frustrated and over the whole thing.
It’s not just what I do here that I don’t like it’s the people. There is zero sense of camaraderie here. Everyone is plugged into their ipods or to busy making personal calls to befriend anyone. Plus my boss shows zero appreciation for all the extra work I do. Not only that but he is now actually criticizing my work that I do.
According to him I should not be making any mistakes, even small ones, EVER. Never mind the fact that I have triple the amount of work as other people. Maybe if he broke up the work a little bit I would be able to do my job much better. I hate the fact that I’m starting to slip but I literally just cannot handle this amount of work. I’m not capable. Even though I have tried to drop hints, subtle and not so subtle, he is just not doing it. He always tells me he will eventually do it, and then the whole month passes by. When will it happen??
I fear that when it comes time for my performance review, it won’t be that great because of this bullshit. You can bet your ass though that if it isn’t good I will speak up. I hate confrontation but I will not let them walk all over me.
I’ve been looking for a new job but really nothing has been peaking my interest and those that do I’m not getting any calls back from. What am I doing wrong? I know the economy is tough but geez. When am I going to get a break?
While I am scared that I won’t be able to find a good job anytime soon there is another thing I’m really scared of. Making the wrong move. What if I find a new job, take it and I hate it just as much as I hate it here? I understand in order to find what truly makes you happy there will be a certain amount of missteps, but I really don’t want to make another one when it comes to my career. I want my next career move to be the right one.
I’m just so frustrated and over the whole thing.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
My stomach is rumbling
A while back I told you all that I was having problems with my foot. The doctor told me that I needed to go to physical therapy. PT was not a good time for me. I detailed a lot of my frustrations before. Well during the next few weeks there were a lot more frustrations added to that list. Anyway last Friday was my check-up back with my doctor to see how things were going. Even though my foot is a little better, I’m still nowhere near where he would like me to be.
I then proceeded to tell him about my frustrations, particularly about the fact that even though I was going there for my foot, 90 percent of my exercises focused on my leg and knee. The guy told me that I needed to build up my leg muscles to improve my foot. Yeah it made sense (sorta) at the time, but in reality my leg is actually really strong. Thanks to 5 knee surgeries and years of PT for my knee my muscles in there are really good. However because I am the patient of course the PT guy was right and I was wrong.
Well, when I told my doctor about PT he was not very pleased. In fact, he seemed downright pissed. He actually told me that as soon as he had a chance he was going to call them up and ask why in the world didn’t they do more exercises focusing on my foot. Seriously, I felt like a little girl tattle-telling.
But I don’t feel that bad. This guy basically wasted my time and I’m now out 200 dollars for the stupid co-pays. And it feels like I’m back at square one. The doctor prescribed me this medication that is basically steroids to take just for this week. I’ve taken it before and it actually helped my foot out a lot. He is hoping that this will give my recovery the final kick it needs to get better.
So far it’s been going well, minus the fact that I am STARVING. Seriously I can’t stop thinking about food. That combined with the fact that I am getting my period this week is making me a major bitch to be around. I actually got really mad at my mom last night for just making soup for dinner because that wouldn’t fill me up enough.
Never mind the fact that she went out of her way to cook for me, I still flipped on her for making so little. I am a horrible person. Especially since today I e-mailed my mother at work a list of foods to buy me when she goes shopping. Horrible horrible person.
I then proceeded to tell him about my frustrations, particularly about the fact that even though I was going there for my foot, 90 percent of my exercises focused on my leg and knee. The guy told me that I needed to build up my leg muscles to improve my foot. Yeah it made sense (sorta) at the time, but in reality my leg is actually really strong. Thanks to 5 knee surgeries and years of PT for my knee my muscles in there are really good. However because I am the patient of course the PT guy was right and I was wrong.
Well, when I told my doctor about PT he was not very pleased. In fact, he seemed downright pissed. He actually told me that as soon as he had a chance he was going to call them up and ask why in the world didn’t they do more exercises focusing on my foot. Seriously, I felt like a little girl tattle-telling.
But I don’t feel that bad. This guy basically wasted my time and I’m now out 200 dollars for the stupid co-pays. And it feels like I’m back at square one. The doctor prescribed me this medication that is basically steroids to take just for this week. I’ve taken it before and it actually helped my foot out a lot. He is hoping that this will give my recovery the final kick it needs to get better.
So far it’s been going well, minus the fact that I am STARVING. Seriously I can’t stop thinking about food. That combined with the fact that I am getting my period this week is making me a major bitch to be around. I actually got really mad at my mom last night for just making soup for dinner because that wouldn’t fill me up enough.
Never mind the fact that she went out of her way to cook for me, I still flipped on her for making so little. I am a horrible person. Especially since today I e-mailed my mother at work a list of foods to buy me when she goes shopping. Horrible horrible person.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Road Trip
This past weekend was my brother’s engagement party. It was held in Virginia, which is about 4 and half hours away from where I live. Originally, I wanted to drive down on Friday to Baltimore to visit my friends and break up the driving a little bit. My mom was not having that. Instead I was forced to endure a car ride with my mom, brother, and 86-year-old grandmother. It was interesting. First my brother was pissed off to begin with. He didn’t want to go period, but had to because it’s his brother’s engagement party. To not make this more confusing, I am going to call my one bother B and the other, the one engaged, Beard.
Anyway, when B is in a pissy mood he is pretty much one of the worst people to be around. You pretty much just need to leave him alone until he starts to perk up a little bit. My mom and grandma did not seem to get that. My mother loves to provoke my brother and piss him off even more. I don’t know why she enjoys it so much, but she does. Then my grandma thought it would be a good idea to constantly poke my brother in the arm the entire car ride down, while asking him why he doesn’t like her anymore. Needless to say, he didn’t appreciate it. That was fun.
My Aunt and her daughters also decided to come along that weekend. Which I didn’t understand because it was her twin daughters birthday that day and I could not for the life of me understand why they would want to spend their day in a car to Virginia. So she followed us all the way down.
Eight people traveling on a road trip equals many many bathroom stops. Seriously, we stopped four times on our way down. Between 2 stops only 30 minutes had passed. How is that possible?!?! Every time we stopped it was a 15-minute ordeal. My grandma doesn’t understand how to get into a car properly. Instead of putting her foot in first and sitting down, she likes to try sitting down before putting her feet it. Every time she tried this and every time we had to tell her that it would never work that way.
After 4 plus hours in the car we finally arrive to the hotel. We are all starving so we just stop to a fast food restaurant. We got there a little early so there was some down time at the hotel. We all got ready and made our way to the Fiancée’s parent’s house. Let me just say it was a good thing we ate before hand. They really didn’t have a big spread. Some meats, veggies, bread and about 200 varieties of cheese were served. I am NOT exaggerating about the cheese. Everywhere you looked there was a different type of cheese. Don’t get me wrong I love cheese, but how much cheese did theses people expect us to eat??
For dessert they had cake, cookies and some “Italian pastries” for us. Which I find sweet that they made an attempt but, and no offense to anyone who lives in Virginia, that state does not know how to make Italian pastries. Their cannoli had cream cheese as the filling. My poor cousin was not expecting that and after she took a big bit of it, she looked like she might puke. That was actually really funny to watch.
However the family was very nice. It was good to finally meet everyone. Even though it was kinda awkward, people who knew each other stuck together and there wasn’t a lot of mingling, everyone was really sweet. Though at one point while I was getting a drink some of the younger girls that were there were commenting on how funny that all the Jersey people were in one room and they were in that room and blah blah blah. When I spoke up and informed them that I was one of those Jersey people, it defiantly broke the ice a little bit even though the one who said it looked embarrassed.
The party started at 4 so by 8:30 we were all ready to go. We left, stopped and got some food before returning to the hotel. We were all starving. We got 2 hotel rooms, my aunt her 2 girls and my grandma stayed in one room, we got rollaways brought up. In the other was me, my mom, the other cousin, and B. Let me just say that when my brother does get married I will be getting my own room. My mom and my brother are the LOUDEST snorers known to mankind. It was like they were having a competition with each other. Somehow my cousin slept though it. I one the other hand ended up getting maybe 2 hours of sleep that night.
We all wanted to leave as early as possible so we got a wake up call at 6:30, ate breakfast at 7 and were on the road on 8. The ride home was much better then going down. We made great time and only stopped once to use the bathroom! We got home by noon and I was able to spend the rest my last day off before work sleeping and lounging.
A while ago I made a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 25. One of them was to take a road trip. I guess you could count this as mine, but I wanted it to be a little more fun then what it was. All in all it was just so-so. I hope to have a do over soon!
Anyway, when B is in a pissy mood he is pretty much one of the worst people to be around. You pretty much just need to leave him alone until he starts to perk up a little bit. My mom and grandma did not seem to get that. My mother loves to provoke my brother and piss him off even more. I don’t know why she enjoys it so much, but she does. Then my grandma thought it would be a good idea to constantly poke my brother in the arm the entire car ride down, while asking him why he doesn’t like her anymore. Needless to say, he didn’t appreciate it. That was fun.
My Aunt and her daughters also decided to come along that weekend. Which I didn’t understand because it was her twin daughters birthday that day and I could not for the life of me understand why they would want to spend their day in a car to Virginia. So she followed us all the way down.
Eight people traveling on a road trip equals many many bathroom stops. Seriously, we stopped four times on our way down. Between 2 stops only 30 minutes had passed. How is that possible?!?! Every time we stopped it was a 15-minute ordeal. My grandma doesn’t understand how to get into a car properly. Instead of putting her foot in first and sitting down, she likes to try sitting down before putting her feet it. Every time she tried this and every time we had to tell her that it would never work that way.
After 4 plus hours in the car we finally arrive to the hotel. We are all starving so we just stop to a fast food restaurant. We got there a little early so there was some down time at the hotel. We all got ready and made our way to the Fiancée’s parent’s house. Let me just say it was a good thing we ate before hand. They really didn’t have a big spread. Some meats, veggies, bread and about 200 varieties of cheese were served. I am NOT exaggerating about the cheese. Everywhere you looked there was a different type of cheese. Don’t get me wrong I love cheese, but how much cheese did theses people expect us to eat??
For dessert they had cake, cookies and some “Italian pastries” for us. Which I find sweet that they made an attempt but, and no offense to anyone who lives in Virginia, that state does not know how to make Italian pastries. Their cannoli had cream cheese as the filling. My poor cousin was not expecting that and after she took a big bit of it, she looked like she might puke. That was actually really funny to watch.
However the family was very nice. It was good to finally meet everyone. Even though it was kinda awkward, people who knew each other stuck together and there wasn’t a lot of mingling, everyone was really sweet. Though at one point while I was getting a drink some of the younger girls that were there were commenting on how funny that all the Jersey people were in one room and they were in that room and blah blah blah. When I spoke up and informed them that I was one of those Jersey people, it defiantly broke the ice a little bit even though the one who said it looked embarrassed.
The party started at 4 so by 8:30 we were all ready to go. We left, stopped and got some food before returning to the hotel. We were all starving. We got 2 hotel rooms, my aunt her 2 girls and my grandma stayed in one room, we got rollaways brought up. In the other was me, my mom, the other cousin, and B. Let me just say that when my brother does get married I will be getting my own room. My mom and my brother are the LOUDEST snorers known to mankind. It was like they were having a competition with each other. Somehow my cousin slept though it. I one the other hand ended up getting maybe 2 hours of sleep that night.
We all wanted to leave as early as possible so we got a wake up call at 6:30, ate breakfast at 7 and were on the road on 8. The ride home was much better then going down. We made great time and only stopped once to use the bathroom! We got home by noon and I was able to spend the rest my last day off before work sleeping and lounging.
A while ago I made a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 25. One of them was to take a road trip. I guess you could count this as mine, but I wanted it to be a little more fun then what it was. All in all it was just so-so. I hope to have a do over soon!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Back to Reality
Wow, work really piles up when you’re not at your job for over a week. From the moment I walked in today I have been nonstop busy. It took me an hour to just clear off everything that has been piled on my desk. Another 2 hours to just go through my e-mails. I haven’t even made a dent in the work that I really need to start doing.
It was worth it.
These last 12 days of not having to worry about work was great. It really reenergized me and today when I woke up I didn’t groan at the thought of going to work. Don’t get me wrong I still hate my job, but having time off makes me feel a little better.
As I mentioned before I am determined to make this year better for me. I always put people in front of myself and it’s time that I become a little selfish.
Anyway, my vacation was really nice. Christmas was great. My mom, I mean Santa got me a new camera!!! I really didn’t want her to spend a lot of money on me, but this is one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. It’s a Sony Cybershot and the quality of the pictures is so much better then my last camera. I also got gift cards to some of my favorite stores.
My best friend actually got me a necklace from Tiffany’s. We always go a little overboard with our gifts but I was so surprised by this! The charm looks like a lock and it has my first initial in the center. She has the same one for her and I always loved it. I still cannot believe that she bought one for me it. Also, my godmother got me a Coach wrislet. She too likes to spoil me. I feel so blessed to have people that care for me this much. However I do feel guilty when people spend so much money on me. Even though I spend just as much on them, I still feel guilty. I’m working on being able to just accept a gift gratefully and not worry about the other person.
Christmas itself was great. My brother and his fiancée showed up and my family was so happy to finally meet her. My cousin that is in the Air Force was able to come and we hadn’t seen him is so long so it was great to see him. The food was incredible as usual. My aunt loves to go crazy with it. I was full just from the appetizers.
The next day we had people over for my brother, it ended up being a sorta engagement party so that was nice for him. It got a little crazy at my house; lots of people, food, and a beer pong game that ended up being moved into our living room. I suck at beer pong but I actually ended up winning a game against my brother! Score! After that, Christmas, plus Christmas Eve, I was exhausted when the weekend came. I was happy to have a break.
The rest of the week was fun: lots of activities, visiting with friends, and relaxation. Besides getting sick on New Years, this week was pretty great.
Tomorrow expect a full report on my road trip to Virginia. I was going to write about it today but then I went off on a tangent. To avoid writing the longest post ever, I will blog about it tomorrow.
It was worth it.
These last 12 days of not having to worry about work was great. It really reenergized me and today when I woke up I didn’t groan at the thought of going to work. Don’t get me wrong I still hate my job, but having time off makes me feel a little better.
As I mentioned before I am determined to make this year better for me. I always put people in front of myself and it’s time that I become a little selfish.
Anyway, my vacation was really nice. Christmas was great. My mom, I mean Santa got me a new camera!!! I really didn’t want her to spend a lot of money on me, but this is one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. It’s a Sony Cybershot and the quality of the pictures is so much better then my last camera. I also got gift cards to some of my favorite stores.
My best friend actually got me a necklace from Tiffany’s. We always go a little overboard with our gifts but I was so surprised by this! The charm looks like a lock and it has my first initial in the center. She has the same one for her and I always loved it. I still cannot believe that she bought one for me it. Also, my godmother got me a Coach wrislet. She too likes to spoil me. I feel so blessed to have people that care for me this much. However I do feel guilty when people spend so much money on me. Even though I spend just as much on them, I still feel guilty. I’m working on being able to just accept a gift gratefully and not worry about the other person.
Christmas itself was great. My brother and his fiancée showed up and my family was so happy to finally meet her. My cousin that is in the Air Force was able to come and we hadn’t seen him is so long so it was great to see him. The food was incredible as usual. My aunt loves to go crazy with it. I was full just from the appetizers.
The next day we had people over for my brother, it ended up being a sorta engagement party so that was nice for him. It got a little crazy at my house; lots of people, food, and a beer pong game that ended up being moved into our living room. I suck at beer pong but I actually ended up winning a game against my brother! Score! After that, Christmas, plus Christmas Eve, I was exhausted when the weekend came. I was happy to have a break.
The rest of the week was fun: lots of activities, visiting with friends, and relaxation. Besides getting sick on New Years, this week was pretty great.
Tomorrow expect a full report on my road trip to Virginia. I was going to write about it today but then I went off on a tangent. To avoid writing the longest post ever, I will blog about it tomorrow.
Friday, January 2, 2009
I'm Back!!
Hey there!! Remember me?? I feel like it’s been forever since I last blogged. My little vacation has been going really well. Fun and relaxing, just what I needed. However even though I am rested up, I am NOT looking forward to going back to work on Monday.
Staying home like this made me realize something. I am not myself when I am at work. I don’t feel comfortable; therefore my true self isn’t coming out. Then I thought who really ever feels comfortable at work? Maybe that’s normal. I don’t know. What I do know is I do not want to be uncomfortable anymore. I need to find my niche and really become myself. That’s my goal for this year. I don’t like to make resolutions, but I like this idea. I just want to be able to feel like myself again.
Speaking of resolutions, my New Years was kinda bust. I ended up being really sick. Like spent half the night in the bathroom sick. It wasn’t pretty. This was the first time that I really wanted to do something big for New Years. However I am not letting that night being lame set the tone for the year. I really feel like good things will happen in 2009. I want this to be the year of Carolyn. I am determined to turn things around in my life, and what better way then to start with a clean slate?
Anyway it’s getting late and I just wanted to pop in and let you know that I’m still here!! I will resume blogging on Monday! This weekend I will be traveling four and a half hours to Virginia for my brother’s engagement party. While I am so happy about my brother being engaged and I not looking forward to this party. It’s just so much driving to do over 2 days for a tiny little party. I am basically having a panic attack. It will be my mom, my brother and my 86 year old grandmother in one car for that entire trip. Can you say disaster??
Look for a full report come Monday.
I hope you all had a great New Years!! I’ve really missed blogging and commenting for this past week.
Staying home like this made me realize something. I am not myself when I am at work. I don’t feel comfortable; therefore my true self isn’t coming out. Then I thought who really ever feels comfortable at work? Maybe that’s normal. I don’t know. What I do know is I do not want to be uncomfortable anymore. I need to find my niche and really become myself. That’s my goal for this year. I don’t like to make resolutions, but I like this idea. I just want to be able to feel like myself again.
Speaking of resolutions, my New Years was kinda bust. I ended up being really sick. Like spent half the night in the bathroom sick. It wasn’t pretty. This was the first time that I really wanted to do something big for New Years. However I am not letting that night being lame set the tone for the year. I really feel like good things will happen in 2009. I want this to be the year of Carolyn. I am determined to turn things around in my life, and what better way then to start with a clean slate?
Anyway it’s getting late and I just wanted to pop in and let you know that I’m still here!! I will resume blogging on Monday! This weekend I will be traveling four and a half hours to Virginia for my brother’s engagement party. While I am so happy about my brother being engaged and I not looking forward to this party. It’s just so much driving to do over 2 days for a tiny little party. I am basically having a panic attack. It will be my mom, my brother and my 86 year old grandmother in one car for that entire trip. Can you say disaster??
Look for a full report come Monday.
I hope you all had a great New Years!! I’ve really missed blogging and commenting for this past week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)