My last year in my 20s!

Friday is my 29th Birthday!! While I am so so happy to say good riddance to 28, it has been a shitty year, I am nervous about being 29. Only because I'm making so many changes in my life that I sometimes wish I was younger than I am. Going back to school at 29, for something completely new is terrifying.

It's also something I know without a doubt the right move for me right now. And I know that I would have never been able to pursue baking and culinary without having gone through what I've been through in the past. I find it ironic that I took me losing over a 100 pounds to discover my passion in cooking, but it's true.

When I was heavy I couldn't imagine standing up for long periods of time. Hell I wouldn't even go out to bars when I was overweight for fear of not being able to find a seat. Me losing weight has opened up an entire new world for me. And oddly I'm not even a little bit worried that I'll gain this weight back by becoming a baker. I know better now, I know how to enjoy myself and find balance with my eating.

Growing up, I never pictured myself with a desk job. I wanted to be a makeup artist, a photographer, a chef, anything that was non-traditional. My mom and my fears forced me to study something more realistic when choosing a major in college. It was fear that made me stay stagnant for many years. Fear of the unknown. Fear of actually succeeding and not knowing what to do next. Fear of being happy for once in my life.

I had a lot of growing up to do, and learning to love and accept myself in order to go after what I want in life. That took roughly 28 years to get here, and that was the way it had to happen. I'm still scared of what's to come, but I know to trust myself now and to go forward. I know that even in failure, I'll be able to pick myself back up again and move on. I know how strong I can be and that is worth everything.

As a gift to myself for 29, I'm taking my birthday and all of next week off from work!! WHOOO HOOO! I cannot wait to relax and hopefully enjoy a lot of beach time! Happy 4th of July if I don't check back in while I'm gone.

Back from Mexico! Pics!

I am back to reality from my awesome trip to Mexico. It was a vacation that I really needed and one that I won't soon forget. It was only 5 days long but it was awesome from beginning to end, and now I'm back to rainy NJ.

I went away with 4 other girls to an all inclusive near Cancun. We got an insane deal for the whole thing, rooms, flight, all inclusive. It was just way too good to pass up! The resort we stayed out was awesome. I highly recommend it. The food was delicious, the drinks even better. There was a huge pool with a slide and a cliff jump and it was right on the beach, where they had boating and kayaks available to use. So much fun!

The view from my hotel! So pretty

Out to dinner with my three favorite girls

I have always had a bucket list of things I want to do. This trip gave me the ability to conquer two of them! When I was overweight and away once, everyone I went with did ziplining. I couldn't go though because there was a weight limit. It killed me to not be able to go and I knew that one day I would do it. This trip allowed me to finally go ziplining!!! One of the best things ever! I want to do it again and again now!

Me getting ready to zip line for the first time.

On my way down!

I even got to go upside down on them. Which was terrifying at first but really fun once you stopped feeling like you were gonna die. haha

I look like a pro here. :)

After ziplining we went out on ATVs. I was not the best driver, but still a really cool experience. 

Finally here I am conquering another item on my bucket list. You can see I'm screaming haha. Going down a zip line into water. I'm not scared of heights per se, but I am scared of jumping. The last obstacle race I did, there was a cliff jump that I didn't do. I got to the top and froze. I couldn't make the jump. I was so embarrassed that I vowed to myself to get over this fear and finally do it! I also jumped down from that ledge as well. Now I am ready for the next Tough Mudder!

Splashing down.

The rest of the trip was spent just relaxing and getting some sun. I feel so much better than I have in months. This trip has really taught me to let go. To face my fears head on and experience the world and everything in it. Now I am on to the rest of my bucket list. Which includes running my first half marathon on Sunday! EEK!

One Step Forward Two Steps back

The good stuff first. I had my first therapy session yesterday and it went pretty well. It was mostly intake and talking about what I would like to get out of therapy in the long run. I felt comfortable with her and I am hoping good stuff comes out of it. Already she's had two great ideas for me to explore that I never thought of.

First with the job stuff, she told me I should look into shadowing a bakery and maybe working part time there to see if it's something I would really want to do in the long run. Instead of even jumping head first into going back to school, test the waters so to speak. Which is something I really feel like I should have thought of myself. haha. I've already reached out to a few places and will hopefully hear back from them soon.

Next is my weight. I was telling her about how much day to day my weight can change. It's crazy sometimes and I've always felt like it can't be normal. I mean take for example, on Friday I weighed myself and then on Monday morning when I weighed myself I was NINE pounds heavier. That's not even remotely possible to have truly gained that much weight. The amount of calories I would have had to consume to gain that isn't possible for me. So she mentioned I may want to look into having my hormones checked. That when people lose a lot of weight, their hormones can become unbalanced. That actually would make a lot of sense for me. I'm going to make an appointment soon with my doctor to start having that checked out.

With the good comes the bad though. My car alarm has been going off randomly for months. For no reason. It was becoming more and more frequent to the point where I stopped locking my car. I had to get my oil changed so I figured I would have that looked at. $800 dollars later, not only did I need oil, I needed new tires, alignment, and something with my transmission. UGH!! Not to mention, they had NO idea what is wrong with the alarm and I ended up having to take it to a dealership today. Which is going to be another $200. It wouldn't be so bad normally, but a few days before I just booked a trip to Mexico with my friend in April. So in less than a week I've essentially just added $2,000 worth of debt to my credit card. AKA my plan to pay off my credit card in May, is going to take a little longer now.

It's just annoying when these unexpected costs pop up like this. It's a source of frustration and anxiety about paying off my debt. I was doing so good too. I do have some savings that I might dip into a little bit to take some of this weight off my shoulders. But I hate touching it because I want to for when I buy a house or something big. But I think if I take $1,000 from there and hopefully with my tax check in April, I can get back to where I was and back on track.

See you next year!

This past week has been crazy. I was in Texas from Saturday through Tuesday for work and I've just been playing catch up on work because I will be off all next week until January 2.

I'm not sad to see this year end. While some amazing things have happened, the second half of this year has been kind of a bust. And it's just getting a little bit worse at the moment. I can't really talk about it, but know I'm not in the best place right now. Because of it, I'm eating like there's no tomorrow.

I'm tired of being stressed and feeling/eating like this. So I've decided, I'm going to enjoy my week off, enjoy being with my family, especially my niece. Re energize and plot out my next moves. I have big big plans for 2013 and I plan on seeing them through!

So this will be my last blog of 2012. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!! I'll see you on the bright side of 2013!

I'm back!! (Pictures of my trip!)

I had the best time in Florida. It was a much much needed break and really helped me destress. I got to do and see so much!!! This is only a handful of pictures I took from my phone. I have way more on my camera. I was able to go to Seaworld, Aquatica (water park), Universal, Disney (Epcot and Magic Kingdom!). It was great. All that walking around was rough though. I just hope it helped counter all the yummy foods I ate!!

The best day I had was the day we went to Epcot. Which I have no pictures from. I was way too busy eating. Word of advice, if your going to Disney, go during the Epcot food and wine festival. It was the best experience ever. There are 29 countries/types of foods that you were able to sample from. I ended up hitting 14 of them that day. lol. They are small plates that cost about $3-5 a plate.

I had a Margarita in Mexico, Ravioli in Italy, Karaage Hand Roll (crispy chicken in a sushi roll) in Japan, Waffle in Belgium, a creme brulee in France, a lava cake in Ireland, Cheese soup from Canada, and something called a griddled greek cheese with pistachios and honey from Greece. Which was so amazing I got it twice. That is just a few things of what I ate that day. I had to be rolled out of Disney basically. It's a great experience and something I think people need to experience at least once!

The day we went to Magic Kingdom I was a total kid. I bought a Tiara and tried to take pictures with characters!!! I even did a character breakfast that morning with Minnie, Goofy and Donald Duck! It was so fun acting like a kid. It was great to escape reality for the day.

Me with Cinderella! I also posed with Sleepy Beauty and Rapunzel!

My friend and I on Dumbo!

At Epcot I got to meet Mary Poppins

Universal I met the Grinch! He loved me.

Best part of Universal is Harry Potter world!! I am a huge huge fan of the books and movies. This place is incredible! I had a butterbeer, pumpkin juice (delicious). I got to see Hogwarts up close. Went shopping at Ollivanders, Honeydukes (great candy) and Zonkos. It you love Harry Potter this is a must see!!! Absolutely amazing. I want to go back when they expand the place.

At Seaworld I got to see the whale show and the dolphin show. I am slightly obsessed with Whales and Dolphins so this was great. I love love Orcas!

The last day, we both were exhausted. So we stuck by the pool all day. The perfect ending to my trip. Getting sun and going into the pools and hot tubs all day long. Paradise.

This was a great trip. One that felt long enough to enjoy and where I was actually looking forward to going home at the end. I'm happy to be back home, and oddly I am loving the cold weather after a week in Florida. lol.

Much needed vacation coming!

On Sunday I am leaving for a week to go to Sunny WARM Florida!

It really can't come at a better time. My life is in a tailspin and I need a time out. I need to be able to relax and unwind. I haven't been able to for weeks, maybe even months if I'm being honest with myself.

These past two weeks have been a nightmare for me. On all ends. I can't wait to escape for a week and hopefully get some clarity on what my next steps should be. Ever have that feeling, where you standing on a cliff about to take a leap into the unknown.

That's where I feel like I am right now. On the verge of something big. But I don't know what that something is yet. I can feel change coming at me and fast, but I just don't know what it is yet. I hate this uneasy feeling I have 24/7. I haven't been able to lose any weight for months, and I know it's because of this stress. My eating and workouts are on point. But my sleep and stress is threw the roof.

Either way in exactly 48 hours from now I'll be laying by a pool soaking up the sun. I cannot wait! I've never needed a vacation more than I do right now.

Mini Vacation

I took a little vacation last weekend. It was much needed. I had off July 4, so I decided to take off Thursday and Friday to make it a long weekend.

I had barely any plans, just to relax and go to the beach. I've been on the go so much lately, that it was nice to not have any plans and to just enjoy myself. I went to the beach almost every day except for Saturday. It was way too hot out that day. I get antsy and bored quickly at the beach so I have like a 3 hour max before I need to leave. Which left me with most of the day to do whatever I pleased.

I went to a fair one night, a BBQ another. Out to lunches and dinners. It was wonderful and really allowed me to relax and recoup. Plus my brother is back from India as on Sunday! He'll be spending the next few weeks here in NJ so it's going to be great to spend time with him.

On Sunday my mom made lasagna to celebrate his return. It was delicious and the perfect way to end my little mini vacation. Now I'm back at work (happily) and ready to get back into my normal routine.

Italia Trip!! With lots of pictures

My trip to Italy went by way to fast! I couldn't have asked for a better trip! The weather was perfect there. In the 60s and sunny. It was great to see my brother and family. The hotel I stayed in was right next the pantheon and in walking distance to practically everything. I walked a ton, so much that I was sore every night. We even took a day trip to the town my grandma grew up in. That will have to be a blog all on it's own though. Too much to tell from that day.

It was just a great great trip. It was great to be with my family, to eat awesome food, and to see some of the most beautiful sights. Words can't even describe it. Here are a tiny sampling of the many many pictures I took!



This was the view from my hotel room window!! The Pantheon. This was the best hotel I've ever stayed in.



Trevi Fountain. Which was a 5 minute walk from my hotel.



Me and my niece at the top of the Spanish Steps. That was a tough climb holding the kid. lol



Me inside the Colosseum.



This was taken on the roof of my hotel. That's the capital building.



In the Vatican Museum. This is the hallway that leads to the Sistine Chapel. So intricate.



Me in front of St. Peters



I climbed to the top of St Peter's. over 500 steps to get up there! I was out of breath and sweating hard, but that view made the whole thing worth it!



The Bridge of St. Angels. I loved this bridge. So pretty.



The mouth of truth! I was determined to go here. I've been dying to see this ever since I saw Roman Holiday. Ironically this was the only church that I had to wait like an hour to get into. No other places had any sort of line.



The relic of St Valentine. I had no idea that this church had his remains there. That was pretty cool to see.



Last night in Italy!! With my niece.

I'm back! With pictures!

I'm finally back after a much needed few days off. I had a great week spending time with my niece and family. It was great, but also exhausting!!! I feel like I need another day to sleep! lol.

One of the days last week I took my niece to the beach. It was the first time she had ever seen the ocean. She loved it!! It was a great day. It was my mom, me, my aunt, two cousins and my niece. We had so much gear because of my niece! But once we got settled, we enjoyed the day!



In her little bathing suit!



Playing in the water!



Me and my cousins

After the beach, we went back to my Aunts showered and had some lunch. Then we headed to the boardwalk! (It was a really long day). My niece was able to go on some of the rides. It was so cute to watch her.



Loving the boats.



Hated the fishy. lol

It was the nicest day! I had a blast, but we were all exhausted afterwards. My niece even slept in the next day!! The rest of the week, I took her swimming a few more times at people's pools. The kid just loves the water! I am so happy about that. I can't wait until she's old enough to learn how to swim!

Now it's back to reality. I woke up at 5:30 in the morning yesterday to drive down to Maryland with my mother to drop off my niece to her mother. We met about halfway between each other. It was a long drive and I was so sleepy. My niece will be in Virginia for the next two weeks and then she'll be back up in NJ for a few days before taking back off for India. I will be so sad when she leaves. I probably won't get to see her until next summer! I hate that they live so far away.

Trip of a Lifetime.

It's official. I am going to India!

I got my visa in the mail yesterday and quickly booked my plane ticket before the fares go up again. Also can I just say, I'm so so so thankful that Continental offers a nonstop flight to India! It's bad enough that the flight is over 14 hours, but having to do a layover would have killed me.

I am going for 11 days total and I can't wait to see everything I can. Specifically I can't wait to see the Taj Mahal.

I'm also scared shitless. Seriously. I'm worried about the culture shock, and even though I am visiting my brother, his wife and my baby niece, they will have to go to work. So most days I'll be by myself. In a country were I can't speak the language.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I couldn't pass it up because I'm a little scared. Once I'm there I'll be fine. And I know I'll make memories I will never forget.

Back to the real world

My vacation was awesome!!!

Seriously it was just what I needed. I spent my days laying by the pool or swimming. The resort was so nice. The pool was huge, the lazy river was long, and the water slide was really high. They had an on site restaurant that was delicious, a free movie theater, and also mini golf. There was always something to do that there was no need to leave!

Surprisingly my cousins didn't drive me crazy. They were a delight all week and I was so happy that I took them along. I am not the type of person who can be around someone 24/7 without getting annoyed or fidgety but I was perfectly fine all week.

Even though I ate what ever I wanted I still managed to lose some weight!! I guess when your swimming around in a pool and playing games all day, you don't need to worry so much about how much your eating.

A friend of mine works for Disney and was able to get me tickets to get into the park for free!!! How awesome is that??? On Wednesday we headed to the park and went to Hollywood Studios (MGM) and Epcot. Last time I went to Disney, I was around 12 and I had a terrible time. I HATED Disney. lol. This time definitely changed my mind about the whole park. The rides were so much fun, and the atmosphere is just great.

My favorite ride was definitely the Rock and Roller Coaster. It was the Aerosmith ride that blasts their music while going all around and upside down!! We had a yummy lunch in China at Epcot. The orange chicken is amazing. It was a long day, but totally worth it. My feet were killing me from all the walking we did, but honestly I really hope I can go back there soon!

The only bad thing about my vacation was that I got sunburn on my eyes. At least I think it's sunburn. I am in so much pain, and the skin on my eyelids are bright red and peeling. No matter how much cream I put on, the pain won't go away and the skin keeps on peeling. So gross!

Now it's back to the grind. Although I loved Florida I am happy to be back and even weirder? I'm happy to be back at work! Never thought I'd say that!

Did I miss anything while I was gone??? How was your week?

Vacation!

On Sunday I will be flying out to beautiful Florida!!! I can't wait!!

While I'm still a little nervous about how things will go, it's just in my nature, I'm still really excited. I'm just looking forward to a week that I can sleep in each day, and my biggest worry will be should I sit by the pool or on the beach that day. lol

Also on Saturday I have a big party to go to! So in general I just can't wait for this week to end and start having some fun!!

I kinda like the fact that I'm taking my vacation during the last week in August. It's like one last adventure/party before the summer ends. While I am looking forward to the fall and the crisp cool weather, I will miss summer a lot. This is the perfect goodbye for me.

So this will be my last blog until I get back. Have a great weekend and week ahead!!

Vacation

In less than 2 weeks I'm going on vacation!!! While I couldn't be more excited to have a week of relaxing in the sun, I'm a little nervous.

I'm taking my two 16 year old cousins with me. At the time I thought it was a good idea. My cousins rarely ever get to go away on vacation or do anything really fun. So I like to try and give them some fun and entertainment. Also none of my friends could get away that week, so instead of vacationing by myself, I now have company.

But now I'm worried that I am not responsible enough to care for two teenagers for a week. Or be able to keep them occupied for the whole week, and not want to kill them. Also what if something bad happens?

I tend to get nervous about certain situations and this is one of them. I think of every bad thing that can possibly happen and then freak over it. What if the plane is delayed and we miss the connection? What if I crash the rental car? What if my cousins have a terrible time?

I know that no matter what happens, everything will work itself out, but I can't help worrying. Once I get there, I'll be fine. It's this build up that drives me crazy. Plus my mother isn't very helpful. She is constantly saying passive aggressive comments to me about this trip. Which is causing my to second guess myself.

I just need to keep focusing on the vacation itself and having a week away from everything. Being in the sun, on the beach, by the pool, in the lazy river they have on the resort. Eating out, going shopping, maybe a trip to Orlando.

Thinking of that, makes me smile and I know that this trip will be great.

The next step

As I mentioned before my mom had a time share that would be expiring at the end of August. None of my friends wanted to spend the money to go (I mean REALLY? All they had to worry about was the plane ticket and food!), and my brother was originally going to use but for a bunch of reasons he ended up not being about to go. My mom could have extended it for a cost but the same problems would still be there 6 months from now.

Anyway I had a brilliant idea, well at the time I thought it was, to take my two 16 year old cousins with me. I know they are young but they are kind of like sisters to me. I really enjoy their company and I try to always be there for them. I asked their mom what she thought and she was all on board!! I was so excited about being able to go on vacation, even though I hadn’t even found a place yet.

Then panic mode set it. Was I an idiot taking two teen girls with me on vacation? Would I be able to handle a whole week with them? What if something horrible happens? What about renting a car and getting around? Can I handle that alone?

I was making myself sick with worry. I mean literally. My stomach was in knots and I was having some bathroom problems. (TMI) I must have talked myself out of this trip a thousand times. Making a million excuses as to why I couldn’t go. Then I realized that I was more worried about being out of my comfort zone than anything else. If there was ever an opportunity to push past my comfort zone and really start living my life, this was it.

I pushed my feelings down and started looking for places of where we could go. Since it’s so late into the year not a lot of places that looked good were available. They looked dingy, gross and not in the best areas. Then one day this amazing place came up! Seriously, out of 5 stars this place had a 4.5 rating by past visitors. I have never seen a place with more glowing reviews than this. The room is gigantic, and the resort has just so much to offer. There is a lazy river, waterslide, two pools, right on the beach, a free movie theater, mini golf, tennis courts, and so much more that I can’t even remember! I know Florida in August will be disgustingly hot but honestly I was in Jamaica last August and nothing can top that heat!

I took a deep breath and booked the place. I didn’t want to risk losing such an amazing place. Even though I am nervous, I am so happy I am doing this. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone and going on what looks to become a kickass vacation!

Jamaica pictures

My friends and I at the Jetty bar. The swings were big and comfy!

I climbed a Waterfall!! Another post about that later.

View from the beach at the resort. You can see the boats that we got to use.

Me on the glass bottom boat

Bottom of the boat

Some of the fish we got to see!

The Catamaran

Me sailing away on it.

View of the resort. You can see the little huts that people got to stay in. We opted for sleeping in an actual hotel room which was bigger and more comfortable for the three of us.

Me at dinner with the sun setting behind me.

Sunset Jamaican style

A nice surprise

Originally when I first booked my upcoming trip a friend of mine was planning on coming but then realized that she was already going away with her family that week. I was sad that she couldn't come but completely understood.

Last night she called my Best Friend all upset. She told her that her parents had canceled the trip at the last minute! I don't really know the details but anyway my friend suggested that she still come along to Jamaica. So last night at like 10 pm she booked a flight and will be joining us in Jamaica on Monday!!

I'm sad that her original trip didn't work out but I am happy that she was still able to come with us. I still can't believe she booked the plane ticket two days before my friend and I are leaving. I've never been THAT spontaneous before.

Now I've been trying to set up transportation with the hotel for her, which is annoying since the person I am dealing with is brain dead, but I want to make sure it's all settled. If I was her I would defiantly be a little nervous about traveling all that way by myself.

Either way I'm still really excited about her coming!!!

Nervous Nelly

My trip is so freaking close!!!!! I have to admit though I am started to get nervous. Nervous? Even though it’s my vacation and I should be looking forward to relaxing right now I’m filled with nerves. I tend to be a person who worries a lot and always thinks of the worst-case scenario.

What if it rains the whole time? What if the resort is gross? What if there are only couples and no singles? What if I loose my luggage? What if I forget my passport? And so many other worries.

I know once I get there I will be fine and able to relax, but for now it’s me being a freak worrying about stupid things.

Lat night I even had a dream were everything I thought would go wrong did! The only way I knew it was a dream was because Morgan Freeman was the bellhop!! Lol. That was funny. He was just like the God Character in that Bruce Almighty movie. He kept popping up everywhere!

Also even if it does rain, or if it’s coupley and I loose my luggage I’m sure I will still have a good time!! I am just looking forward to going to Jamaica and escaping reality for a little while!!

What’s the worst thing that happened to you while on vacation?

Leaving on a jet plane

In a few weeks I will be going to Jamaica!! While I really couldn’t be more excited, there is one thing that I have been freaking out about.

Layovers.

I HATE layovers and usually do everything in my power to avoid them at all costs. I’m the person who doesn’t mind spending extra money if it means having a direct flight. Unfortunately for this trip there are very few direct flights to Jamaica and the ones that were available were just too much money.

So now I will have an 1 and a half layover going there and a 3 and a half one coming home. Ugh. The good news is that I will have some company to help pass the time. It’s not so much the waiting that I mind, it’s that I have a huge fear of my luggage being lost or not making the plane.

I know that it probably won’t happen but here’s the thing. It’s happened to me before. The ONE other layover I’ve ever done and my luggage was left behind. I was coming home from studying abroad and I had a quick 45-minute layover in Dublin. When I was booking it I was so excited that it was only 45 minutes.

Little did I know though that 45 minutes is not enough time when you have to recheck in (again), go through security (again) and run across an entire airport. I running like that scene in Home Alone. Also when I got to the gate the flight attendant and a guard was waiting for me and yelled at me for being so late! It was so creepy because they new my name before I even showed my ticket. I guess when you check in and don’t board a plane a whole bunch of security measures have to be taken to make sure I wasn’t some crazy person trying to bomb a plane. Good Times.

Anyway I finally made it and was happy to be one my way. When I finally arrived to my destination I went happily to retrieve my luggage. After 30 minutes and no more bags left on the carousel I realized that my bags didn’t make it. 45 minutes is also not enough time for luggage to be transferred from plane to plane.

It took 3 days before I finally got them back! Since I was traveling internationally my luggage was detained and completely ransacked by customs. After that whole experience I pretty much vowed to never again do a layover.

Here I am 3 years later and I have to do a layover. Also I just found out that the airline now charges for checking luggage. WTF. I can understand charging for a second bag but the first one?? That’s just wrong.

Now I’m seriously considering trying to carry on. It would give me piece of mind about not losing anything and also I won’t have to pay an extra fee. However I am the worst packer ever! I’m the girl that packs enough clothes for a month for only a week trip.

Which is why I’m asking you for some packing tips!! I’m desperate! Or would you check your bags and hope for the best?

Weekend tidbits

Finally booked my plane ticket to Jamaica!!! The third person I was supposed to go with kept on delaying us about buying the tickets and then last minute he backed out. What pissed me off is that he probably decided months ago that he wasn’t going to go but didn’t have the decency to let us know and we waited like idiots for him to buy the tickets. Whatever. In my opinion it’s his loss. Now that it’s booked I’m really excited about everything!! I can’t wait!

Friday I took my cousins to the boardwalk. I haven’t been to the boardwalk, like walk around play games and go on rides, in years. I usually go there and go to a bar. I defiantly remember it being much bigger and a lot more stuff to do. I guess that's what happens when you get older. You remember everything being much bigger than it was. We were ready to leave after only a half hour. I was still happy to go though. I got to eat Dippin Dots so I was happy.

Since the boardwalk was kinda a bust we went to see the new Harry Potter movie. It was so good! I love these movies! I can’t wait for the next one! Also I really think I might finally read the books so I can get all the subplots and stuff.

The rest of the weekend was spent with me working on my tan. The weather was amazing and I had a blast spending time with my cousins on Saturday.

How was your weekend?

No more drama

I mentioned a while ago that in August I will be going on vacation to Jamaica. While that is still the plan, I’ve been experiencing nothing but DRAMA about this whole friggin’ trip.

The original plan was that me, my BFF and two other people would be going together. One person had to drop out because she will be going away with her parents that week. Which I didn’t think was that big of a deal. I just figured it would be the three of us then.

However the other two thought otherwise. All of a sudden they are telling me we HAVE to find a fourth person to go with, otherwise it won’t be any fun. Umm excuse me? Does having a fourth person really make that big of a difference between having a good time and being miserable?

I believe a trip, or anything really, is what you make it. If you have no worries or fuss and just enjoy yourself you will have a great time. I mean I went to Paris by myself and I can’t even speak french and it was one of the best vacations. It never occurred to me that I couldn’t have fun unless I was with someone else. I feel like my friends are behaving like teenagers and if there aren’t a certain amount of people involved it isn’t cool and it will be lame.

Now they are scrambling to find a fourth and I’m sitting here really pissed off. I don’t want to invite a person just to invite a person. This isn’t a day trip; this is a 7-day trip where you will be with someone basically 24/7. Excuse me for not wanting to go away with someone I barely know. What if no one gets along?

Also I am taking it really personally. Every time they say the trip would be lame if it’s just three, I feel like they are saying I’m not fun enough to go on vacation with. That it’s me they don’t want to be stuck with. I’m seriously really hurt, and every time I try and say something they barely listen or shoot me down. As of now my BFF still says she’s in, the third says he will only come if there is a fourth. I want to them him to fuck off.

I feel like come August I will be taking the trip by myself. Which right as this moment I wouldn’t even mind, because then I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit.