Friday, December 5, 2008

Does this hurt?

I mentioned before that I need to go for physical therapy for my foot but I was having difficulty finding a place that was open late, on the weekends and accepted my insurance. After a dozen phone calls I finally found a place. I have gone to 2 sessions so far. I am not really satisfied. It’s nothing in particular but rather a bunch of little things put together which is making me loathe going.

Issue One: All the exercises they have given me, I could do at home. It mostly involves stretching my hamstrings and calf muscles and then heating and icing my foot. All of which could be done in the confines of my home…for free.

Issue Two: All Physical Therapists think they are god’s gift. I mentioned casually that I once considered majoring in PT but then decided that I really had no interest and the thought of cutting open dead people scared the bejesus out of me. He then felt the need to inform me that it is really difficult to become a PT and you need to have really great grades and stuff in order to get into a program. Basically informing me that I probably wasn’t smart enough to become one anyway. WTF. That infuriated me. It also caused me to mention to him that not only was I accepted to every college PT program I applied for, I was also offered scholarship to go to one school specifically for PT. Ass.

Issue Three: Back to my PT guy. He really likes to talk. He doesn’t stop. I get that when you’re working one on one with a person that you feel the need to make small talk. However I really hate small talk. Especially when it’s awkward. And it’s really awkward when I’m lying down on my back and you’re down near my foot, massaging it. I’d rather just silence. He also thinks he’s really funny and tells the worst jokes ever. Causing me to fake laugh and it’s getting really obvious. Which is why I am bringing a book next time I go.

Issue Four: It’s awkward. I mean for like 10 to 15 minutes each session he has to massage my foot to help loosen up my muscles and tendons. It is intimate. Not in a sexual way, but in a, there is a guy massaging my foot with cocoa butter. Which makes me feel really awkward. I forgot to mention that before the massage happens, he does this ultra sound thingy to my foot for 6 minutes. All together almost half my time is spent like this and it’s weird. It’s normal procedure. I’m not worried he is hitting on my or anything. It’s just strange. Same thing happened when I had to go to PT for my knee. Almost the whole session involved a friction massage and it got really weird after a while. Also I say massage but it is in no way pleasant. It is one of the most painful things ever. It has to be in order to really loosen up my muscles. But basically every time he asks if it hurts, I want to ask him if me hitting him in the balls would hurt.

I have 4 weeks left of PT. I’m not sure I’m going to make it!


Karen said...

Too funny. I have been in PT for my knee several times and to be honest, I really think it is a scam. I mean sure, for pro-athletes or seriously disabled people, it helps. But when comes to stretching for the average person, I think it can be done at home.

CC said...

ugh, sounds awful and chalk full of awkward moments which means i would HATE it.

also hate it when people feel the need to lecture you about how "smart" they are and try to make you feel dumb. Once after 4 massive water leaks in our apartment i went to go talk to the manager on duty about my concerns with mold. he proceeded to tell me that since i hadn't seen mold it wasn't there, and that the conditions weren't right for mold to grow and he knew this because of his "engineering degree" (wtf, because in engineering you learn about mold?!) I was furious of course and am pretty sure that my Marketing degree qualifies me to know that mold does in fact, grow in warm, damp/wet places. ASS.