Not only is it Friday...

but it’s Halloween!!! I cannot wait til I can go home, put on my pjs and watch scary movies!

Happy Halloween! I hope you have a great weekend!

Where did the time go?

I recently realized that I am quickly approaching my 100th post! I can’t believe I have made it this far. Now I’ve been thinking of a way to mark this special occasion and I’ve come up with a few options. One is that I reveal my actual first name. The other is that I will post a picture of myself. Now let me preface this that I may not do either. I like being anonymous and I feel like if I were to reveal either of the two someone I know would absolutely find me.

Which is why I am asking you. If I were to do one, which should it be? And if you have any tips on how to sooth my paranoia so that I can get the guts to do either would be great!

Finally to close out the post, I am putting some pictures up from my adventure at the corn maze!

Our lovely hayride

As you can see, we were all alone on the ride

My cousin try to find her way out. Little did we know it was right around the corner.

I took this in the car on the way home. It is currently my background on my computer.

We had better scenery in the car then we did at the farm!

Corn Maze

This past weekend I decided to take my cousins to a corn maze. I looked up places online and found the perfect place. They had a corn maze that was 3 acres, and so complex that they gave you a map and they had a person on a watchtower looking out to make sure everyone finds their way out. I was so excited. I get my cousins on Sunday morning and we make our way to the maze. It was 11 am and I guess people chose to sleep in late that day because when we got there, we were the ONLY people there. At first I thought it might be closed, but upon further inspection we just realized that we were their first customers of the day. Which was fine by me.

I pay for the maze and learn that we get to take a hayride to the maze for free!! Sweet, I love hayrides! Because we were the only people there we got the VIP treatment. We were the only ones on the hayride, all three of us. The big huge contraption made to hold dozens of people was all to ourselves. Needless to say, I felt super cool. The hayride goes about 3 miles per hour so it took what seemed forever to get to the maze. I was getting excited about the maze and a little nervous that we would never find our way out.

Suddenly we stop. I’m confused because there is NO way that this is the corn maze. This little field that we saw on the way in, that’s behind their pumpkin patch is the Maze?? We could have walked to the entrance it was that close to where we parked. There was no need for the hayride. The guy gets off and opens the door to let us out. I hesitate because this MUST be a mistake. This is not 3 acres. Where was the watchtower? We didn’t even get any maps. No sir, keep driving to the real maze. He stands there, getting inpatient that I won’t get off. I finally concede and get off.

Even though it looks small, it will probably be really intricate with dozens of twists and turns. It doesn’t matter the size, all that matters are the paths that will make us lost. We run in, excited again. There are some turns, but not that many twists. Mostly there are forks in the maze and each route ended up in the same place. I know because we tested both. After about 5 minutes we reach the end. WTF. This was supposed to take us hours to complete!!! We decide to prolong long the end and go back in. We run around some more, scaring each other by jumping out from behind the stalks. But no matter how hard we tried to make ourselves lost we would end up at the finish line!

Defeated we decided to call it a day. We left the maze at 11:30 am. To make up for the bust that was the corn maze, I took my cousins to lunch and then went to go see High School Musical 3. It did not disappoint.

My To Do

Let me start by saying I HATE to do lists. Especially when it comes to life. A lot of people do these lists to help guide them, either it be toward a better you or making a list of things to do before reaching a certain age. I don’t usually like them because I feel like it puts to much pressure on you. I am one of those people that when I say I will do something, I do it. I don’t just talk the talk I walk the walk. That’s why I avoid making lists. I would hate myself if I didn’t complete it. I would actually feel guilty and feel like a failure. On the other hand, I feel like I need to make a list now, to get myself motivated and moving toward the right direction.

Which is why I made a list of things to do before I turn 25. Twenty-five will be a big birthday for me, and its one of those ages where when your younger you feel like your whole life will be in place. I now know that that whole mentality is bullshit, but at the same time I do need to be going in some sort of direction toward that life. Whatever it may become.

Now to alleviate that pressure I am not making it mandatory for me to finish the whole list and I have also thrown in fun stuff to make it seem less daunting. Enjoy.


Here is my list of things to do before I turn 25 in about 7 months. Enjoy.

• Get a new job that I actually like
• Eat healthier
• Take a photography class
• Start getting more exercise (walking to the printer at work doesn't count)
• Get more of a social life
• Start dating more (oh who am I kidding, just start dating period)
• Try and talk out my issues with my mother (tried before, didn't work. Maybe this time it will)
• Take a road trip somewhere
• Become friends with my brother. Actual friends that hang out, not people who constantly fight or just ignore each other.
• To be able to handle my anxiety better
• Go see a Broadway musical (I haven't been to one in soo long)
• Start saving more money
• Get another tattoo (I'm still debating this one)
• Actually go out in the city (instead of just coming to work and then leaving right away)
• Stop obsessing over things I have no control over
• Swim in a fountain (I've always wanted to do this)

So wish me luck and here’s to the improved me!

Notes

Thanks for all the feed back from the last post!!! I guess we can all safely say that no matter what this guy’s deal is, they shouldn’t be involved. However I had already told my concerns to her last weekend after I had meet him. She is fully aware of my thoughts, and that’s where it will stop. If she continues to see him, which she has, I will not say anymore bad things. I want her to still be able to talk to me about him, and if she knows how much I dislike him I know she will stop.

That’s what happened last time. She knew I didn’t like her boyfriend so whenever they were having problems she very rarely told me because she didn’t want to hear me say, “I told you so”. Or when the broke up for the 5th time, my sighs knowing that it wouldn’t be permanent. Let’s just say, if she had stayed near her college to work, they would still be in this predicament. I know that with any relationship for anyone, they only see what they want to see and ignore the rest. Telling your opinion on the situation will only help destroy yours. For now, I will sit back and just hope the situation works itself out and they will stop soon.

Onto something totally non-related, my company is finally beginning to see the effects of the crappy economy. We had a team meeting today and my boss told us about the massive layoffs that have been going on in the company. One division was completely eliminated already. Thankfully, my department is still bringing in a good amount of money and we aren’t that worried about being fired. I personally am not worried right now. I am so busy and my boss just keeps on pilling it on. He did mention the fact that we need to constantly look busy because people are watching (can you say big brother?). If anything, when it comes time for performance reviews my raise might not be too good. On the other hand, I really don’t want to still be here come February. We’ll see how that plays out.

Finally, I will try to get a picture up of my new hair. I am just trying to figure out how I can do so without showing my face. I really suck at photoshop. I got one of the best compliments the other day. This guy in my office came over and said: “I almost didn’t recognize you! You’re hair looks great. What are you trying to do? Make all the other girls in the office jealous of you???” Seriously one of the best compliments, EVER.

It’s official

I am obsessed with my new hair! I went to the salon and hairstylist and I discussed what I wanted to do with my hair. I told her that I always wanted to go red, but I was to scared of it not looking good. First, she tried to push highlights on me. NO thanks. It’s too much upkeep and I prefer my hair darker. We finally settled on this dark brown with red cooper undertones in it. It looks so nice. It compliments my skin color, and makes my eyes looker really blue. It is a lot redder then we were expecting but it worked out better. People keep on complementing it, saying that it is perfect for the fall weather. She also cut off a lot of dead ends so it looks much healthier now. I don’t usually talk about myself this way, but I am obsessed.

Also this weekend, my friend and I went out to a bar. This guy and a couple of her friends came out with us. The guy, who I will call RM, is someone my friend is kind of interested in but doesn’t know what the deal is with him. In comes me because she knows I can read people well and plus that’s what best friends are for: to give their honest opinion of a potential boy.

The main reason why she wanted me to meet him is/was because she thinks he’s gay. Here are the reasons why she thinks this. 1. He likes to go to gay clubs. 2. He once made out with a guy in high school. 3. Is metro-sexual, way into his looks and designer label obsessed.

On the other hand, he has had a bunch of girlfriends and recently broke up with a girl he had been dating for a year and a half. Also she asked him point blank, if he was gay or at least Bi and he told her no and if he was he would tell her.

Back to Friday night. I meet him and I really don’t think he is gay. I do however think he is a huge tool and I cannot believe she likes him. I really wanted to like him because her I hated her past boyfriend and it defiantly caused a bit of a strain for a while between us. Needless to say, I was right and they did eventually break up for good. But this guy, she has even less in common with him then her last boyfriend. She basically even told me that if there were other guys around right now that she could possibly date she wouldn’t even be considering RM, but because there’s not, she is just going out with him.

I think this is horrible. She is settling for a guy that she has nothing in common and to be honest I don’t think he is even really interested in her. He always texts her, and NEVER calls. By the way I hate people who only text. They have been on 2 official dates and he has barely showed any actual interest in her, AKA did not try to kiss or even touch her in the way guys do (grazing an arm, pushing away hair, “accidentally” bumping into each other) when they are into someone. The only time he has shown a lot of interest was when we went out and we met up with a bunch of our guy friends. He probably got jealous at all the attention and was extra attentive with her. Oh and they’re second date was prompted the day after we all went out.

So what do you think? Is he into her and just shy? Gay? Or just not that interested?

Also, have you ever dated a guy just because you had no other options?

Hair Therapy

I am feeling a little bit better. Not terribly but better. I am very happy that it’s the weekend and I cannot wait to sleep in tomorrow. This weekend I am getting my hair done. I will color it and get a trim. I cannot wait. Getting my hair done is one of my favorite things to do and it always makes me feel better. I love being pampered and I love the smell of the salon.

Also, I know this will sound weird but I always seem to do something drastic with my hair whenever my life gets crazy. I don’t know why, but I guess its helps me feel more in control. Last time? I cut 8 inches of my hair and it fell just below my ears. This time, I will only be dying my hair to either a dark brown/auburn color, but it will still be a change. I hope it helps me straighten things out.

Anniversary

Exactly one year ago I started this job. I cannot believe that I have been here for a whole year. I didn’t think I would still be here. I realized this place wasn’t for me within a month of starting here. I promised myself that I would be out in six months. That never happened. Life got in the way. The economy went into the crapper and I couldn’t figure out what to do next. So instead of actively looking for a job, I got scared and I just continued working.

I’m still scared and I still don’t know what to do next. Which is why I’m still not actively searching. Sure, I send out a resume here and there but my heart isn’t into it. I’m really scared that I will still be here come next year. I am stuck and I don’t know what to do.

I really wish that I could just snap out of this and figure out what the hell I should be doing. I need more time to figure this out. However, I don’t really have time to figure it out when I am gone from 7:30 in the morning to 8:30 at night. I’m so busy with this job that I can’t see straight.

I’m really tempted to go back to school. But I don’t know what I should do. I have some ideas, but I’m afraid I will pick the wrong major. Like I did last time. I know that working in this field is not for me. The typical 9-5 job, or in my case 10-7, is not for me. I do not want to sit in front of a computer anymore.

I need to talk this out with someone but I really don’t know who or even how. It cannot be my mother because we are so opposite. I know EXACTLY what she will say to me and it’s not what I want. She can’t just listen and give output. Instead she interrupts and criticizes. I’ve tried that and I’m not trying again. I can talk to my friends, but they are either in a career that they love and wouldn’t understand or they are just as lost as me. ARRGH. I am so frustrated about this and this day makes it that much worse.

I did not want to still be here after a year. But here I am. Now I feel like there is a ticking bomb just waiting to go off. I feel more pressure then ever to figure out my next move and just do it already. If I want to go back to school, I would need to have if settled really soon if I wanted to start in January. If I go the other way and just try to find a new job, I don’t want to be here any longer then necessary.

I have a lot to figure out, and not a lot of time to do it. I had no idea this would be so hard and frustrating. I thought my twenties were going to be amazing and carefree. Turns out there is a lot of work involved.

You’ve never done that?!?!

This morning on the train a woman sat next to me who had to be in her mid to late sixties. She kept on going on and on about how excited she was. I thought she was just excited about going into the city. It turns out that she has NEVER ridden a train before! How is that possible??? A woman that age and she has never been on a train! Planes I can sorta understand, but a train? Especially when you live in a town that close to the city. Most people living around here start riding the train when they are young to go to the city. Driving is a pain plus parking is expensive so most people just hope on the train. I couldn’t believe it.

She was like a little child telling everyone, including the conductor that this was her first train ride. Then she kept on talking about why no one was smiling on this glorious train. Umm maybe because we are tired, cranky, going to work and there is an idiot talking very loudly about the fucking train? She then decided to play a game with her friend to find a person getting on the train that was smiling. She didn’t find one. She was like hopped up on happy pills or something.

Either that, or I’m just so used to being a commuter that I’ve become one of those people. The cranky commuter who freaks out if they hear a cell phone vibrate. Who wants absolute silence for their ride and HATES when children are present in the train car so much that they actually move. I’m not quite there yet, but I do get upset when people are speaking loudly and/or screaming into their phones. It is nice to have a little quiet before going to work for a day filled with nonstop noise. Good thing that listening to my ipod blocks out a lot of the noise.

So tell me? What is something that you’ve never done before that something people do all the time?

Something that people always freak out about is the fact that I’ve never seen The Godfather movies. It’s something that I want to do, but I just never get around doing it. Oh and also I had never made Rice Crispy Treats until this past weekend. I was a deprived child.

A walk in the park

This weekend was so beautiful that I decided instead of just walking my dog around my neighborhood I would take him to the park nearby. It was so pretty with all the leaves changing color and everyone out with their families and loved ones. I, being an idiot, didn’t think to bring my camera. Oh well. If I go next weekend you better believe I will have my camera. Anyway. A few things that I noticed about my dog:

He is very afraid of small dogs. He’s only 10 pounds and little dogs freak him out. Oh he’ll bark and act like he’s not afraid but as soon as the dog comes close he’ll try and run away or jump into my arms.

Even though he is afraid of small dogs, he is not afraid of large dogs. One of the biggest dogs I have ever seen came up to him and he was FINE. Better then fine. He didn’t try to run or cry. Instead he walked right up to him and sniffed his butt. A true sign that he wasn’t afraid. So why in the world is this 10-pound dog afraid of little dogs, but not a dog whose head was the size of his body?

My dog cannot just walk straight. He is all over the place. He zig-zags, jumps and runs around me. It’s hard to keep the leash in check and make sure that I don’t get tangled in it.

He also skips. Seriously. When people notice it, they think he is limping and hurt. But he is actually skipping. It is the cutest thing. I need to buy a video camera so I can record it.

Lastly, even though my dog isn’t very well trained and barely listens to me, when we are out in public he behaves really well. A little boy came over to pet him and my dog actually sat down and let the boy come over to him. Usually he would just jump up on the boy, or run away depending on his mood, but he just sat and acted so well.

Other than my dog walking adventure, my weekend was pretty laid back. Visited with some friends, caught up on some movies and just relaxed. It was very nice, even if it was a little boring at times.

I love lists

• Things got much better after Monday
• I am convinced I was somehow drugged because I was really really out of it. Like I didn’t know how I got home out of it.
• So excited that the Office is back on tonight!!
• Can’t wait for the weekend. It will be the first weekend were I can actually sleep in for a change.
• Thinking about dying my hair red.
• I’m to chicken and I’ll probably just go auburn.
• Either way it will be a big change. The sun really lighted up my hair this summer.
• My brother wants to get married on a little island in Florida. I hope he does. It is so beautiful there!
• I still cannot believe he is getting married.
• I just realized that I get paid 3 times this month!!! I am really excited.
• This post may be more random then the one I left on Monday.

7 weird facts about yours truly

CC at Fork in the Road tagged me in a MEME. I am supposed to tell you all 7 weird facts about myself. I am a very strange person but for some reason it was really hard to make this list up. I guess I just didn’t want to scare you or have you think I’m really crazy. Here is what I came up with! Enjoy!

1. I am a little OCD. Certain things have to be done a certain way or I will freak out. For instance my morning routine is pretty much timed to the minute. Also you go into a room and there are like 2 or 3 light switches right next to each other?? It drives me crazy when they are not all facing the same way. It’s weird I know.


2. I used to wear glasses. From the age of 2 to about 12 I had to wear glasses for being cross-eyed and a little nearsighted. Then my eyes got better and I no longer need them. I now have perfect vision. Some people still think I wear contacts and don’t believe me when I tell them that it’s all-better.


3. I’m the only person in my immediate family that has blue eyes. My mom, dad and brothers all have brown eyes. The only other person to have them is my grandpa on my dad’s side.


4. Ferris wheels scare the crap out of me. Seriously. They go up really high, very slowly, making a sound that is not normal, and I feel like I’m just going to plummet down to my death. It is so tedious. It is torture. However, I have gone Sky Diving, Bungee jumping and basically every roller coaster at Great Adventure, but the damn Ferris Wheel freaks me out.


5. While other little kids dreamed of being a teacher, astronaut, president…. I dreamt of being a waitress. That was one of my favorite games to play. I put on an apron, roller skates (because I worked at a 50s diner), and a little pad and used to pretend to be a waitress. When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would tell them that. My only saving grace? My brothers wanted to become a garbage man so they could ride on the back of the truck. Apparently my family likes to keep expectations low.


6. I have what people call hitchhiker thumbs. They stick out at a 90-degree angle and my thumb is bent backward instead of just being straight. Since I can’t really explain it I am posting the picture. That’s not my hand, but that’s basically how it looks. Whenever I had to get a physical they always marked hands as “abnormal”.


7. I don’t know how you would classify this but it isn’t normal so this could be my last weird thing. For whatever reason I have met quite a few celebrities. Most while I was in England doing an internship, some I live near, and the other was just random. I have met: Mini Driver (internship), Christian Slater (internship), Bruce Springsteen (live near), Bon Jovi (live near), Nicolas Cage (random), Hugh Dancy (internship), Wentworth Miller (internship), Maury Povich and Connie Chung (live near). Now to be fair, the people that I live near I have never actually spoken to. There are even more famous people that live near me, I didn’t put the ones I haven’t seen up here, but we tend to leave them all alone. Either way it’s still pretty cool.

Now I’m supposed to tag people but I figured if you like this idea then you should go for it! If you do, let me know so I can see it!

Maybe it’s a case of the Mondays???

Today I woke up feeling like a Mack Truck hit me. I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to keep my eyes open. This whole day so far has been a blur. Literally. My eyes can’t focus and I seriously cannot keep them open. I need to snap out of it. There is work that needs to be done, but instead I am sitting here in a comatose type state. I just want to get home so I can go back into my bed.

This past weekend? Nothing really to report. It pretty much sucked. I don’t really want to get into it. I just want to forget about everything that happened. It was stupid and I’m tired of complaining. No more.

Hopefully tomorrow will be much better and I can make a good post for once. Today however is a big haze and I apologize for this post not really making any sense.

Don’t forget to floss

Yesterday I had a dentist appointment at 8:15 at night. At first I thought this was a great idea because I wouldn’t have to take off of work at all. However going to the dentist at 8:15 at night SUCKS. It is the last thing you want to do after working all day. I felt like the appointment was never going to end. First she took x-rays of my teeth, then she had to develop them, then she cleaned, then the polish and then I had to wait for the head dentist guy to look at my teeth. I just wanted to get in and then leave. Instead it felt like each task took a half hour. Plus I was hungry because I hadn’t had dinner yet. The worst part? I found out that I have the beginnings of a cavity.

This is my first cavity EVER.

I was the only person that I knew that had never had one before. No I can no longer say that. At least it’s small. The doctor wanted to wait until my next cleaning to check the status but I want this thing taken care of now. Who wants to wait 2 years to get a cavity fixed???? Seriously. That’s what he told me; that I have a very small cavity and a low decay rate so I don’t need to worry about this for at least 2 years. No thanks. I would rather not have to worry about it at all. Who would want to wait until it got to a point where you’re in pain and you need major stuff done?? I had to fight him to get it done sooner rather then later. So in about a month I will be getting my first filling. Booo. At least he told me that since it’s small I probably won’t need any shots!!

October

To mean when it becomes October it officially means falls, despite the really warm weather we've been having lately. So let me list some things I am excited about

• Wearing fall clothes (i.e. sweaters, jackets and scarfs)
• Seeing the leaves change colors
• Being outside on a crisp cool night
• Going to football games (my brother is an assistant coach at a high school and I love going to them)
• Eating pumpkin seeds
• Halloween

Now about Halloween. I like the holiday because you get to watch scary movies while gorging yourself with candy. That I love. I hate dressing up in costume. Am I the only one that feels awkward and like an idiot when they dress up?? Even when I was little I felt awkward. There are some people I see all dressed up and they look so cool and comfortable. Me? I look uncomfortable and defiantly not confident or cool. All my friends are talking about the parties and bars they will be going to and what they will be dressing up as.

All I want to do is stay home, watch a scary movie and eat candy. But they look at me like I’m a freak because I don’t want to dress up and get drunk. No thank you, I would rather go drinking in my normal clothes. Even last year I saw people coming home from work in costume on the train! I could NEVER do that. I’m sorry but I think I will pass this year. If I do go out, you’ll be lucky to see me with my little glitter devil horn headband I have.