Out of debt!! (Sort of)

Prior to my getting let go from work, I was working hard to pay off my credit card. I was getting close, but it seemed like it was never gonna happen. I was able to pay of my car about a month before I was laid off, so I had that off my shoulders.

Then I was laid off, which is still the biggest blessing that could have happened to me. I can't help but be so happy lately. Anyway with the severance I received, I was able to fully pay off my credit card!!! And put a good chunk into savings!

Whooo hoooo!!!

It feels great to be out of debt like this. Granted I'm not out of the hole though. I still have my student loans which I'll be paying off for a while still, but at least that's "good" credit and I won't have to pay them while I'm back at school in September.

It's a great weight that's been lifted off my shoulders. Things are moving forward in the right direction and I can't wait for it to keep moving forward. I'm like a kid, who cannot wait for school to start soon! I never ever thought I would say that after college, but it's the truth!

For now I'm just enjoying my summer and soaking up the sun!

Funny How things work out

A week ago today I was laid off from my job. Normally this would be a bad this to happen to someone. However this was the best thing to ever happen to me!!

Since I was planning on quitting in August to go back to school, they actually did me a huge favor. I was dying having to work there, knowing I would be leaving soon. It's not a fun place to work anymore and it was just making me miserable. When I was laid off they gave me severance that brings me to when I would have quit anyway. It was a sign.

Best part, is I will be able to collect unemployment while I am at school. That is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! Knowing that I will have some money come in while I am at school makes me feel better. I don't have to worry about paying for my bills and now I can even save up some money.

Now I can enjoy the rest of my summer and do whatever I want before reality sets back in again for me. Ever since I started this journey to find my passion and what I want to do for the rest of my life, I have been overwhelmed by signs and basically being pushed into this direction. For the first time in my life, I feel like I know what I'm doing and I'm happy with my choices.

I never thought I would find that thing, that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It seems though I've finally found it and I couldn't be happier. Now that's not to say things won't change in the future. I may want to become something totally different again, but what I know now is, that's okay. I will be okay, no matter what happens. Even something as terrible as being laid off, happens to be the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I am so excited to go back to school and learn new things! I cannot wait for this adventure to begin.

Taking Steps to make changes

Little by little I'm starting to realize what I want to be when I grow up.... but it's terrifying. And the steps I need to do it, are also overwhelming. It would mean going back to school for one thing.Which would mean quiting this job and finding (hopefully) a part time job to support myself while I go back.

Here's the thing. I love to cook, bake more specifically. And people have told me time and time again how amazing I am. People actually tell me I should open a bakery. However I have no training in cooking whatsoever. But I think this is something that could truly fulfill me. I know I would absolutely have to take some classes. I'm not dumb enough to just jump off a cliff without a parachute. But fear plagues me.

What if I actually end up hating it? Or I fail miserably? I won't be able to have health insurance at least for a while. Do I really want to work for myself? Anyway I've decided to at least test the waters.

The community college near me actually has a wonderful and well known culinary school. I'm going to meet with someone in admissions to just gather as much information as I can get. Find out the costs, when classes are usually held, how long it would take. All of that. I know I'll hate myself forever if I don't at least check it out.

I also made an appointment to see a therapist. Just to talk things out. I struggle a lot with my body image and I know I have severe body dismorphia. I thought I would just eventually learn to accept the new me, but it's taking a lot longer. I've been also gaining weight recently and I think it's a combination of stress and sabotaging myself. Hopefully this goes well.

Now that I look at this blog, I'm taking a lot of steps to a newer better me. And hopefully will continue to progress as time goes on!

I want to be a foodie

One of my favorite channels is the Food Network. I LOVE watching cooking shows and all the other programs they have. Unwrapped, Best Thing I Ever Ate, and Diners drive-ins and dives are my favorites.

I like to pretend I’m a foodie while watching these shows. I tell myself that I’m going to download these recipes and try them out myself. In my head I’m this amazing cook that can whip up these things no sweat.

The problem?

I’m a horribly picky eater. Seriously. If you ever saw what’s on my plate you’d think I was five years old.

I hate that I’m so picky. I want to break myself of this horrible habit, but I don’t really know how. I want to be able to make these amazing dishes that I see, but when I see an ingredient that I don’t like I stop myself.

Also because of this, I eat crap food. I want to eat healthier so I get my body in better shape, inside and out. I was thinking about maybe going to see a nutritionist but I feel like that’s a waste of money. However I basically need to re-teach myself how I perceive and eat food.

Have you ever had a bad eating habit? How did you break it or how do you incorporate more vegetables and fruits into your diet?

Kiss the Cook

Lately I’ve been cooking a lot. Which is strange because I don’t really like to cook. Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually a pretty good cook, I can even make ravioli from scratch! I’m just not really into it.

These past few weeks though I’ve been downloading recipes online and trying them out. This past weekend I tackled mini quiches for the first time and this weekend I’m attempting to make a pumpkin roll. This looks difficult but if I get it right I will be soo happy!

Baking is what I enjoy doing the most. Which is funny to me because I hate cake and pies. I never eat what I bake but other people tell me they are good. My specialty is crumb cake.

I like baking more because it’s so precise and one wrong move and you could have something completely inedible. But when it comes together you can get a little slice of heaven. With cooking I like how you can improvise. I almost never measure when I’m cooking I just eye everything. My family looks down on measuring, especially when making marinara sauce!

I just like the smell. How it fills the house up and makes it so inviting. It makes a house a home.

Okay I’m going off on a tangent. I seriously don’t know what’s gotten into me.

Do you like to cook? What’s your special dish?