I'm here!

Sorry to have disappeared like this! I have so much I want to blog about.

I will try to put something up soon I promise! I have really missed blogging!

I hope you all had a great holiday and a wonderful New Years!!!!!

Final: Best of 2009

This is the last of the best of 2009 for me. There was some others listed but none that I really had an answer for. I hope you enjoyed this and if you do it tell me! I would love to read it!

Tea of the year.

My favorite tea is English breakfast. I discovered it a few years ago and now it’s all I drink. I love it!

Word or phrase. A word that encapsulates your year. “2009 was _____.”

Better. Since I could only use one word its better. If I could expand on that it would be better than 2008. Nothing earth shattering really happened to me and that was okay with me. If I remember correctly 2008 was a pretty sucky year. I vaguely remember thinking to myself that I just hope 2009 was a better year. No real resolutions, just better. And it was. I was defiantly happier and in less of a funk. As 2010 gets closer I’m really starting to feel and think that big changes are going to happen for me. Not because the year is changing, but because I’m ready to make them happen.

Shop. Online or offline, where did you spend most of your mad money this year?

Ulta. I spend a god awful amount of money in that store. I go almost every weekend, it’s a sickness. I even tried to clean out some of my makeup and I just couldn’t part with it. I gave away like 5 eye shadows. Out of the hundred I must own. I need to stop. Is there a 12 step program?

Car ride. What did you see? How did it smell? Did you eat anything as you drove there? Who were you with?

When I went down to Virginia for my brother’s engagement party. It was interesting. It was my mom, brother, grandma and me in one car. My aunt and her kids following. My grandma asked every 20 minutes where we were at that moment. Also we made like 5 bathroom stops in a four hour drive! 2 on the NJ turnpike alone. It was a lonnggg car ride and one I’m not really looking forward to doing again this weekend. Only this time it’s just me and my mom. My brother is going down with his friends and my uncle is picking up my grandma! It will be a lot better. Hopefully.

Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?

I learned that things don’t just happen. I have to make them happen. I keep on waiting for things in my life to change, but then I realized that I don’t live in a movie. I need to get off my ass and start making the change myself.

Insight or aha! moment. What was your epiphany of the year?

See above answer.

Part 3: Best Of

Ugh. I woke up on Sunday really sick. Spent the whole day in bed and I still feel horrible today. I just hope I feel better by this weekend. I will be so mad if I go to my brother's wedding feeling like this!

Anyway back to the list!

New food.

This is going to sound weird but I am going to say Chinese food. For years I stayed far away from it and just refused to ever eat it. Then one day I tried some and I was hooked!! I was surprised at how many items that I really liked! Now I looked forward to going out and trying some more.

What’s the best change you made to the place you live?

Well I’m hoping to be able to change my address in the next few months. But with where I currently live my mom did some major changes to the house. We got new siding, windows, ect. Since the windows in my room were replaced I was able to repaint my room a color of my own choosing! It’s been this horrible pastel purple for years and it just wasn’t me. Now the color, called coastal dunes, is just what I wanted it to be. I feel so much more comfortable in there now!

Rush. When did you get your best rush of the year?

That would have to be when I climbed a waterfall in Jamaica. I was sooo nervous before hand. My whole body was actually trembling. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to climb it, that I would hold everyone up, and that I would fall and die! Once I started to climb I realized I COULD do this and getting to the top, looking down at what I just did, I felt amazing!

Best Of part 2

Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

That would be just stepping outside my comfort zone. I’ve been living at home and working at the same place for 2 years now. My life has become stagnate. I became such a homebody that doing things I used to do all the time, now start to give me anxiety. I’m not sure what happened or why I became like this but it needs to change. In the past month or so I’ve made myself go outside my little box. Whenever I would start to get nervous about doing something I would just power through and go. I’m defiantly still a work in progress, so this will remain my challenge for 2010. A New Year’s resolution that I am determined to stick to!

Album of the year.

Hmm this is really hard for me to choose. I liked so many things this year. If I had to pick one I would say the new album from Dragonette. Every time I listen to it I can’t help but get happy and want to start dancing around! You should defiantly check them out.

The best place.

There is this one bar near me called the Dublin House that I love going to. It’s a dive bar compared to the others nearby, but I always have a great time when I’m there! It’s just a chill place, with good music, great atmosphere and delicious drinks. Most of my friends hate going there but I love it.

What was something that you challenged yourself to do?

Best of 2009

There is this Best of 2009 Challenge going on with 20 Something Bloggers. Each day you have to talk about the best ______ that happened this year. I think this idea is really cute. However there was no way I was going to be able to blog everyday and plus some of the topics I'm not a fan of. So here is my version. I'm going to talk about a few best ofs at a time and any of the one I didn't like I just skipped over.

Here's the first few!

What was your best trip in 2009?

Defiantly my trip to Jamaica! It was soo pretty there and it was just the break I needed. Plus I got to climb a waterfall! How many people can say that??

Restaurant moment.

This was really hard for me to come up with. I don’t go out to eat a lot and when I do go it’s usually to a place I’ve been to a million times. Finally I remembered that a few weeks I ago I finally went to this amazing place that I’ve never been before. It’s called Barnacle Bill's and it’s near where I live. It’s supposedly has the BEST burgers in NJ. The restaurant was fun, one of those places where there are peanut shells all over the floor, and the burgers were pretty good. Huge, but really tasty. Also their long island ice teas are insane! One and you’re done. lol

Book.

I’ve read soo many books this year I can’t even remember them all. I would say the best series I read was the True Blood series by Charlaine Harris. I devoured the whole series in just a few months and I cannot wait for the next book to come out in May! I also liked how they are so different from the TV Show. It allowed me to like both equally and now I can still expect some surprises with the next season. Plus book three was one of my favorites so I can’t wait for the show to come back!

Night out.

I think my trip to Atlantic City was one of my best nights out this year. It was so much fun being with my friends and my team dominated at Beer Pong that night! I usually suck at the game so I was thrilled when we won 4 games in a row! The only bad thing about the night out was the next morning! I had the worst hangover of my life. It lasted 2 days. Literally. Totally worth it though!

Moment of peace. An hour or a day or a week of solitude.

My moment of peace comes every Friday when I get home from work. I sit down with my dinner, get ready with my DVR shows and just decompress. After a crazy week of work this is what really helps me calm down and get re-energized.

What are you best moments from this year??

busy busy busy

The next few weeks will be super busy for me. This weekend will be the calm before the storm.

In two weeks is my brother’s wedding reception. I am driving down on Friday. I’m going to make a stop in Maryland to drop off my best friend and hang out with her and her boyfriend before going all the way into Virginia and to the hotel.

Saturday is the wedding which will be filled with bunch of pictures and running around like crazy before the party begins. I’m so excited for this wedding!! The only thing I’m not so excited is I’m sitting at a “kids” table. Instead of sitting with the people my age and who would be a lot of fun, I will be sitting with my younger cousins. It was the only way my mom could make all the tables work. It’ll still be a good time though so I’m not that upset

Sunday I will be making my way to Baltimore before going home. I haven’t seen my friends from college since June. It’s defiantly past due for me to visit them. Even if it’s for a few hours.

After that weekend I work for a few days and then it’s the holidays! I took off from work from Christmas Eve til after New Years. I will be all over the place that week. I meant these days off to be relaxing but it looks like I’ll be going non-stop. Which is fine, I’m sure I’ll be able to relax a little bit. Plus I get antsy if I sit still for too long.

The only thing I’m really about being so busy is that the holidays are just going to fly by. I really want to be able to sit back and just enjoy them. Like this past weekend I finally got around to decorating the Christmas tree. I put on some music and just danced around while decorating. It was so much fun and really put me into the Christmas spirit!

What are some of your favorite holiday traditions?

Thanksgiving Recap

Thanksgiving was great! Just the break I needed. The day was filled with family, friends and a whole lot of food!! It was delicious.

We ended up having a extra full house. My cousin brought a friend who didn't have anywhere to go and my mom invited some co-workers whose family was across the country. It just filled my heart to have them come and be able to celebrate the day with us.

The night before (Wednesday) I went out and it was defiantly a bust. I was having a great time and my DD decided to leave around 11:30. Granted we got to the bar super early to avoid the crowds and get some seats, but still. It was just starting to get really crowded. We left and there was a line wrapped around the block! I tried to find a ride home other than her but couldn't. Also I didn't want to bother my mom who was getting up at 5:30 to put the turkey in the oven!

I made the most out of the night and it was still nice to see some of my friends.

Even though turkey day was a long day for me I still couldn't sleep in the next day. So I hit the streets.

It wasn't too bad! The parking was a problem at times but inside the store everything was fine! Some notable purchases were

Ulta: I bought CHI hair straightener for 79 dollars!

Kohls: I got a Gold Chain that was $210 for $60!!! I also bought earrings for my sister-in-law that were $110 for only $20! I love that store.

Best Buy: I was able to get a Blu Ray DVD player for $125 with a HDMI cord for free. I actually bought 2. One for me and one for my brother. My other brother is going to go in on the gift with me which is nice! I also got some DVDs that were 4 dollars.

I also got a couple of other things too, filler gifts mostly. But those were my big buys that I was proud of!

So did you brave the crowds this weekend? Get anything good??

Turkey Day

Today is technically Thursday for me!! I am so happy to have off this coming Thursday and Friday. Plus I only have to work a half day on Wednesday!!!

Thanksgiving is defiantly my favorite holiday. Seeing old friends out the night before, going to the annual High School Thanksgiving game in the morning, having my family come over for dinner, the delicious food, and shopping on Black Friday. I can’t wait!!

Wednesday before Thanksgiving is one of the biggest nights out where I live. Bars get insanely crowded. Filled with the people you went to high school, and even middle and elementary school, with. I love seeing everyone, even though the crowd can get a little crazy.

The football game on Thanksgiving has been going on for decades. Hundreds and hundreds of people go to the game. Even though the other team almost always loses it is still a big rivalry. I also get to see a lot of friends and old acquaintances here.

Thanksgiving has always been at my mom’s house. About 20 family members come down to celebrate. I love my family, even though they can be crazy, and it always makes me happy to see them. Plus my mom is an amazing cook so the food is out of this world. In the evening old friends stop by to say hello and have some dessert.

On Friday, I am one of those crazy people who goes shopping. Nothing to crazy, I usually go out about 11am to avoid some of the crowds and just hit a few stores. I’ve been really good this year and have my Christmas list almost done. Just need to pick up something for my brother and I’m done!

What do you do for Thanksgiving? Will you be braving the crowds on Friday?

Annoyed

I've had bad train experiences before.

Last night was the worst of all.

A train broke down in the tunnel between NY and NJ. No trains were going in and out of the train station.

My original train I take was cancelled.

The train after that was cancelled.

The train 40 minutes after that was cancelled.

By 9:30 I had been there for almost 3 hours and nothing was moving. To make it worse it was only my train line that kept getting cancelled. Everyone else was just on Stand By.

I was tired, angry and most of all in pain. Because of everything happening with my knee I was dying. I can't stand for long periods of time and here I was at a train station with no place to sit.

I called my mom up in tears. She offered to come get my but by the time she would have gotten to the city and we would get home it would be so late and honestly it was just to much. Also I didn't want to make her do all that driving.

I decided to sleep in a hotel. It was like 200 dollars but you know what?

It was worth it.

I found out later that the service wasn't restored for another hour after I left and since everything was so backed up it would have taken me another hour just to get out of the station.

Instead I went to Macy's bought some clothes, then the drug store to get Toilet Trees, picked up dinner at Chipotle, and made my way to the hotel. I was in bed by 10:30.

If I didn't do that I would have still been at the train station waiting, and freaking out.

The hotel I stayed out was literally a few doors down from my building. I was able to sleep in much later than I usually do and I still got to work an hour and a half early.

I'm just sick of the trains being so messed up. At least once a week there is a problem. Is it really too much to ask for one week to go by without any problems??

Do any of you commute? Have you ever had something like this happen to you?

Waiting game

After a month of waiting I finally went to the doctor yesterday!! Since he was in the city and I had a appointment at 8, I had to catch a train at 5:15 in the morning!! Needless to say I was extremely tired all day. It didn’t even start to get light when I arrived in NY. Ugh.

Anyway after a quick subway I was at my appointment like a half hour early. Which was good because I had to get x-rays and fill out new paperwork. Finally I saw the Dr. and he told me that my pain can be one of two things.

One was that I bruised the inside of my bone which meant I almost broke it when I fell! This could take up to 6 months to heal!!! The other option is I may have torn my cartilage. This is also a great possibility because I am susceptible to this. On my other knee I’ve torn my cartilage like 6 times!

He told me I should wait a few more weeks and if I’m still in pain and don’t think I’m getting better I will have to go for an MRI.

I’m not too keen on waiting though. I would rather just have it done now so I will know for sure what the problem is. I hate this waiting game. On the other hand though if I do go for the MRI and nothing is wrong I will feel like a complete idiot.

I decided to give it another month and see what happens. It would be amazing if the pain went away by then, but I don’t have the best luck when it comes to these things. Something is almost always wrong!

Keep your fingers crossed just in case!

Surprise!

My mom’s party was a success!! Not without a few hitches in the beginning though!

She was really cranky that morning and basically refused to leave the house when her friend came to pick her up to go to lunch!! It took a half an hour of pestering her to get out of her PJs and go out!

She was being so stubborn that I thought I was going to have to tell her. Also I was freaking out because my Aunt and Grandma were going to be there any minute!! The whole day I was a big ball of nerves, hoping everything would go as planned. Also I started to get nervous that my mom would be mad at me for doing this! The house is under some construction right now and all she ever says is how much of a mess it is. It doesn’t look that bad, most of the work is done, but my mom can be a bit of a drama queen.

Once she was out of the house, my brother and I quickly set everything up, and the caterer arrived and set up the buffet for us. I was so surprised at how quickly we got everything done. By the time my Aunt arrived to help we were done!

Once everything was set up we were just waiting for people to arrive. Then my aunt started to panic when it was close to the time my mom was getting back and no one had come yet!! She was actually pacing around the house! Thankfully everyone pretty much arrived at once and with plenty of time to spare before my mom got back.

Since I live on a small street it was basically impossible to hid people’s cars. My brother got the idea for everyone to gather outside when my mom pulled up and do the surprise like that.

So when my mom’s friend called me, we all went outside to surprise her. Boy was she surprised!! She was freaking out about not having any makeup on!! She was really happy though, which was such a relief for me!!

About 40 people came and I was so touched that everyone made the effort to come. It was a great party, the food was a hit, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. It was a little chaotic because my house was so crowded, but it was a good chaos where you just know people are having a good time.

I’m happy everything worked out and that my mom had a great birthday!!

P.S. I did take pictures but completely forgot to upload them this weekend. Hopefully I will remember and put them up this weekend!

Bad Day

So it's only 1pm here and today has been such a shitty day.

Its like every. single. person I am dealing with today is giving me attitude and/or just being plain mean to me.

One person even yelled at me. I mean screaming so loud that I had to move the phone away from my ear. Talk about being unprofessional.

The thing is, I'm trying to be sooo nice to them, and doing everything in my power to make the situations right. They are just not happy with any of my solutions.

Also what they don't realize is it's not me who is doing this; I'm just the messenger. Part of my job is dealing with difficult people so the higher ups don't have to.

I get that, but the same time once in a while I would like a little courtesy from the people I have to deal with. Or some recognition for the crap I have to take.

Maybe I’m just PMSing but I really can’t take anymore of people’s nastiness. Especially when the problem is NOT my fault. You effed up and I’m just trying to fix it. Work with me here!

What if?

The party for my mom seems to be coming together really nicely.

This past weekend I spent running around buying what I would need, ordering food, and calling people and everything seems to be done, and everyone I invited is coming.

Everything has fallen into place and it's kinda freaking me out! Usually I'm working things out until the last minute but everything is done. Which is why I've been freaking out about nothing.

What if I forget something?

What if everyone will forget and no one will show up?

What if I didn't order enough food?

What if I ordered too much?

What if my mom will be pissed I gave her this party?

I know deep down, that no matter what happens everything will be fine. I just can't help thinking about the What ifs though.

Leaving the past in the past

With this funk I’ve been in I’m been thinking a lot about the past. I tend to put fuel to fire so to speak. I watch depressing lifetime movies, and I think about things in the past that are depressing and I would other wise not want to think about. I think I do this to myself to help speed the funk along and start feeling better.

Anyway I’ve been thinking a lot about talking to my mom about certain things. I’ve mentioned before I think that we have a strained relationship. I love her more than anything and we are pretty much on good terms now but when I was in middle and high school it was hell.

When my parents spilt when I was 12 my mom lost it. Quite understandably with everything he did but she took her anger and depression out on me. Which was unfair and deeply affected the person I am today. She never hurt me physically but the emotional abuse was too much to handle at times. One second she would be screaming and saying how much she hated ME (not my dad) and the next she would be crying and saying that she doesn’t know what she would do without me. She was rarely happy and anything that went wrong would always somehow be my fault.

It was like that for years.

What was worse I think was that she depended on me, an adolescent, to support her. To be her pillar of strength. In my opinion it should have been the other way around. I too was depressed and I just needed my mom to tell me everything would be okay. I never got that; instead I had to say that to her.

I grew up very fast.

My depression was so bad I shut everyone out of my life. I had basically one friend in middle school and because of everything I began having thoughts of suicide. I never tried anything, but I thought about it daily. How I would do it. Would any come to my funeral? Who? Would my mom miss me? Would my dad?

In high school my mom started getting better and I slowly pulled myself out of the depression. I went from being suicidal to absolutely loving my life. It’s so strange to think back on how I used to be, because I can’t even recognize her anymore.

I will always be susceptible to falling into a depression, I was for a little bit in college, but it was never as severe as it was then. It’s also something I know how to deal with now especially after the counseling I had in college. That helped me tremendously with dealing with my anxiety and depression.

Even though the past is in the past, I still feel as though my mom should know what I went through. I don’t think she really understands what she did to me. I don’t want to start a big whole fight with her; I just want to have an open dialogue. I’m afraid though she will take it the wrong way or she just won’t listen to me at all. On the other hand I feel like I can never truly open myself up to her if I don’t talk to her about it.

What would you do? Leave the past in the past or open up old wounds?

Bullets

• I totally failed with the no online shopping this month. I slipped and ended up buying a bunch of clothes from this one site that was having an insane sale. I saved so much that I don’t even feel guilty!
• All in all though I consider this a success because compared to the previous months were I was buying things at least once a week, only buying once this month is a great improvement!
• I decided to throw my mom a little party for her 60th birthday. I know she didn’t want a big thing, but so many people reached out to me, wanting to do something special for her, so I am throwing a little dinner at our house.
• I thought it would be easy, call a couple of people and get some food catered but it’s a lot more work. Also getting food catered is freaking expensive. I would rather have it potluck style but I feel bad asking people to cook. I’ll probably just suck it up and order the food. You only turn 60 once right?
• I’m still in a bit of a funk but I’m slowing pulling myself out of it.
• My knee is still hurting me!!! I’m going to the doctor in two weeks from today. Hopefully I will finally get some answers!
• Still on the hunt with finding my mom an outfit to wear to my brother’s wedding party. It’s not going well. She is obsessed with this one thing we found at a bridal store. They didn’t have her size, and they couldn’t order it. So now she wants me to find it elsewhere. I’ve tried but I can’t find it ANYWHERE and I’m the queen of finding clothes online. I even called the manufacturer of the brand to see if I could order it but it couldn’t be done because they only do bulk orders! I hope she realizes that we will have to find something else!

Kiss the Cook

Lately I’ve been cooking a lot. Which is strange because I don’t really like to cook. Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually a pretty good cook, I can even make ravioli from scratch! I’m just not really into it.

These past few weeks though I’ve been downloading recipes online and trying them out. This past weekend I tackled mini quiches for the first time and this weekend I’m attempting to make a pumpkin roll. This looks difficult but if I get it right I will be soo happy!

Baking is what I enjoy doing the most. Which is funny to me because I hate cake and pies. I never eat what I bake but other people tell me they are good. My specialty is crumb cake.

I like baking more because it’s so precise and one wrong move and you could have something completely inedible. But when it comes together you can get a little slice of heaven. With cooking I like how you can improvise. I almost never measure when I’m cooking I just eye everything. My family looks down on measuring, especially when making marinara sauce!

I just like the smell. How it fills the house up and makes it so inviting. It makes a house a home.

Okay I’m going off on a tangent. I seriously don’t know what’s gotten into me.

Do you like to cook? What’s your special dish?

Stuck in a funk

I've fallen into a bit of a funk. I feel as though I have nothing to say right now. It may just be writer's block but who knows.

My knee is slightly better than last week but is still hurting. I decided I'm just going to wait til Nov. 10th to see my doctor about it. I really hope/wish that it will be better by then and I won't have to go at all. Fingers crossed!

This past weekend I went with my mom to help her find an outfit for my brother's wedding reception. Since they are already married and everyone knows they are just having a party. No ceremony. It's going to be pretty laid back dress wise because of this but my mom is treating it like it's going to be a black tie affair. She's looking at all these foofy dresses and won't consider scaling back a little. I mean some of the dresses she tried on looked like she was going to the prom!

I just know that if she is really over dressed she will feel uncomfortable but she doesn't want to listen. Also my mother hasn't worn a dress in over 20 years. Literally. I'm trying to persuade her to wear just a nice pantsuit so she will feel comfortable and look more appropriate. We'll see what she ends up with.

Other than that I'm stuck with what to say or even do. I've been pretty stagnant lately.

Ugh I hate when I get like this.

Hopefully soon I will snap of it!!

Frustrated

I have a pretty decent insurance plan. In fact this is one of the best plans I've been on.

Despite this I cannot find an orthopedic doctor that accepts my insurance!!!

I've made countless phone calls all telling me that the Doctor doesn't participate in my plan.

WTF

I finally one doctor, who I've seen before, that accepts. The only problem?

His earliest appointment is in a month!

I'm in too much pain to wait that long.

I keep hitting all these dead ends and I just don't know what to do.

To make matters worse every time I think about what could be wrong with me I start tearing up!!

I'm just maxed out on stress.

I need a new game plan and I just don't know what that is.

Fail

So I caved. I bought something online yesterday. I just couldn’t help myself. The dress was originally $108 and it was on sale for $38. How could I not buy that great of a deal.

Also remember I said that I was buying two dresses right before this whole thing started? Well one was amazing. The other was just meh so I decided to return it.

The price of that dress was a lot more than this so I figured I’m not really cheating. More like an exchange!

I know I’m pathetic.

Well this morning I get an e-mail from Nordstrom telling me the item I ordered is no longer available and has been cancelled!!!

How funny is that?

I’m going to take that as a sign that I need to complete my month of no online shopping!

R & R

Things at work are finally back to normal. This means more time for me to blog!

This past weekend was really nice and relaxing.

Friday night I went to see my brother coach the local high school football game. He is an assistant coach and I know most of the other guys coaching too. I forgot how crazy these games are. There were tons of people and everyone was just so fired up! It was a lot of fun and defiantly brought back memories of when I used to go to the games. Also my bro’s team won and it was a great game. Not boring as some can get.

Saturday was pretty low key. My knee is still really hurting me so I needed to give it some much needed rest. I just caught up on my DVR which was overflowing with shows.

That night I went to a friend’s house and just hung out, watched a movie and drank some wine. It was pretty delightful. Sometimes it’s good to just lay low and not go out and get crazy.

By the way I suggest the movie Amelie. It was so cute. I think I might actually buy it!

I think the rest helped my knee out a lot. I really hope it will get better soon. I’m delaying making an appointment with the Dr. because I’m so scared that something is wrong. If I don’t feel better by next week I will call.

How was your weekend?

Bullet points

This week at work I am covering for two people who are out. Needless to say I've been insanely busy! I've barely had time to read other people's blogs and I really missed not being able to post like I wanted to this week.

Anyway here are some updates about me

• I fell in Penn Station when I was going home from work!!! Not only was it mortifying but also I really hurt my knee. I fell right down on them and now my right knee is twice the size of the other and I'm in a lot of pain. It's been a few days now and I'm really worried that something might be wrong. If I don't feel better by next week, I'm going to have to make a Dr's appointment. I am so bummed about this. I've been crying non-stop. With all of my past knee problems, I finally got to a point where I thought I wasn't going to have to deal with this stuff anymore and here I am back at square one.

• This no online shopping thing is really hard!! Especially when stores like Barnes and Noble send me coupons for 30 percent off!! They must know that I'm not shopping this month and are doing it to tease me!

• This past weekend was a complete fail with me cleaning out my room. I didn't touch it! It was just one of those weekends when you blink your eyes and it's already Sunday night! I'm going to try and attempt this again this weekend.

Challenge

I decided to post a challenge to myself this month. Starting Saturday I will not allow myself to buy anything online until November. My online shopping has gotten out of control. It’s to the point where I’m purchasing things at least once a week.

I’m not stopping because I need to save money or whatever; I’m stopping because this is becoming a bad habit. Most of the things I buy I can do without. Keep in mind I’m nowhere near the Shopaholic chick from the books. I don’t buy THAT much, but it is becoming like an addiction.

What happens is I get bored at work and I run out of things to do online. I read blogs, check my e-mail, and my usual websites (perez, popcandy, FML, etc) and then after that I’ don’t know what to do. I used to check the sites repeatedly until something new pops up, but that’s gets real old real quick.

So what I do now is after all that I browse shopping sites and buy things. My staples are clothes, books and makeup. Sometimes shoes if I know the brand and what size I am for them.

I’m not spending a lot. Part of what thrills me while online shopping is searching for an amazing deal. Like buying a coat from Nordstrom that was 200 dollars and on sale for only 40 dollars! Or the one time Sephora was having this amazing sale where I was getting makeup from brands like Hard Candy for only 3 to 5 dollars.

This helps kill time and also come 3 to 5 days later I get a nice little gift in the mail. It’s a win-win. Only I feel like it’s getting out of hand. It seems I can’t go a day with out at least browsing. Which would be fine if that was only what I was doing but I will end up talking myself into buying. Just this week I’ve bought books and makeup (that will be delivered today btw) and the previous week I bought clothes from Macy’s.

So starting Saturday no more online shopping, I am still allowed to go to actual stores. Despite that I have a feeling this is going to hurt. Hopefully I will last!! I will keep you updated.

Also if you are wondering why I’m not starting today it’s because I’m buying a dress tomorrow from Nordstrom. I would wait until the month is over but it’s on sale and I actually need it since my brother is most likely getting married in December. And I’m worried it won’t be there in a month.

Do you see how I talk myself into these things??? lol

Any tips on how I can resist temptation?

Fall Cleaning

Once in a blue moon I get an urge to clear out items that I own. I like to go through everything and see if I realty need them anymore. It helps control the clutter in my life and gets rid of unnecessary items.

Don’t be fooled though. I’m a terrible pack rat. I hold onto papers, receipts and knickknacks for years. I hate throwing things out but every once in a while I get this urge (read: OCD) to clean out.

I always feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders when I’m done. It’s very cathartic for me. So come this weekend there will be a major cleaning out.

Since I’m crazy and I love lists I decided to share with you my breakdown of getting rid of things.

Clothes

Suits: I’m finally going give away all my suits, except for one, to Dress for Success. I’ve been meaning to do this forever, but I just never get around to putting the box together.

Casual: things I haven’t worn in a year or don’t like anymore will go into bags to take to the clothing drop bins.

Shoes: ditto

T-Shirts: There are tons of t-shirts that I never wear but won’t throw out because of sentimental value. I’m going to gather up the ones that have a special meaning and I’m going to have a quilt made of them. My friend recently did this and it looks amazing!

Makeup

I love makeup. I literally have an entire dresser drawer filled with it as well as the makeup I use daily on top of the bureau. It’s bad. I hate throwing away makeup more than I do clothes but I really need to clean this out.

Old mascaras (more than 3 months), creams, and foundation will go in the trash.

Eye shadows, and others that haven’t gone bad will be divided up and distributed to friends and family.

My desk

Ugh this is the one task that I dread doing. My drawers in my desk are stuffed with random papers, receipts, books and all sorts of junk. There is no order whatsoever and it’s total chaos. I barely ever even go in them, only to throw more junk inside, because it’s so bad. I really have to go through each drawer and clear it out. I have receipts in there from last Christmas!! Obviously I don’t need them anymore.

My room doesn’t look like a mess, I really don’t like it to be, but for some reason I let my desk get crazy like that. I have to clean it out. Every time I open up a drawer I cringe.

Any tips on cleaning out? Have you ever felt the need to just purge yourself of unnecessary things?

Party Bus

This weekend was amazing. It was my best friend’s 25th birthday and she decided to get a party bus to take us out so no one would have to worry about driving. I’ve never been on a party bus before.

They are awesome! The inside looks like a really big limo. Black leather seats that goes all the way around the bus. Lighting on the ceiling that sparkled and you could make however bright or low you wanted. They had an Ipod hook up and XM radio with surround sound speakers. It was like your very own club. The driver was really cool and thankfully took his time taking us to where we were going.

There were 12 of us in total and we just went crazy. It was one of those nights where everyone has a good time and there is no drama or problems at all. The next morning I was actually sore from dancing all night long!

I hadn’t had a night like that in a while and it was just what I needed.

Me and the birthday girl

Aerial Shot at the club

Thursday Thoughts

Lat night I went out for some drinks with people from my office. We went to a bar were a freaking cranberry and vodka was 12 dollars!! I wasn’t paying, thankfully, but still. Who in their right mind wants to willingly spend that much money for a drink? They didn’t even have Miller light there! What bar doesn’t carry staple beers like that? They only had “fancy” beer. Give me a bar with 2-dollar beers any night of the week.

Today is my best friend’s 25th birthday!!! She can’t really do anything today because of work and then a conference tonight, but this weekend we will be celebrating her birthday the right way. Lots of booze and dancing! There are about 13 people going out so we all hired a party bus to take us to our destination. I’ve never been on one before so I’m super excited!

What happened to the fall?? The past two days has been hot and humid. Ugh. I’m ready for the crisp air already!

Can you keep a secret?

I just found out that my brother is married!!!

And only like 3 other people know!

Apparently before my brother and his wife moved to India, when they were getting everything straightened out, they were married. It was a quick two second thing.

At first I was a little hurt. I mean he's been married for MONTHS now and i didn't know!

Then I realized that they want to celebrate and have a "real" wedding. Felt that it might detract from the special day even just a little if people knew they were legally married already. I can completely understand that. They don't want anyone to feel left out or jaded for not being at the first one. Even if it was in a tiny office.

They are planning a ceremony to happen in the next few months when they come back to the states.

I can't wait to witness the special occasion and celebrate their marriage!

I hope no one I know in Real Life reads this or I am in big trouble!

Rekindling friendship

This past week I reconnected with a friend. I had mentioned her before and how frustrated I was becoming with the fact that she was never calling me back or trying to get in touch with me. Well almost a year later and we finally got back in touch.

I had stopped trying to call her a few months ago because I was just sick and tired of always getting a voice mail and never an answer back. I decided that the ball was in her court and if she wanted to get back in touch, she had to call me.

At first I was really upset and angry because I consider her to be a very good friend. She’s just one of those people who is impossible to get in touch with. I know she was going through a lot of rough times and this is pretty typical behavior, so I stopped taking it so personally.

When she first called I was really surprised. Instead of just letting it go, I made sure to let her know how much it initially hurt me about what happened. I hate being confrontational but I just couldn’t let this slide. She apologized profusely and filled me in on what was going on in her life. Since I wasn’t angry anymore I did accept her apology. I’m not one to hold grudges. Plus I know this past year has been really bad on her and she just needed time to work things out.

After that, it was just like old times. She’s defiantly the kind of person that you won’t see for years but once you meet up it’s like no time has passed. It was good talking to her and about everything that has happened. She’s one of the few people who really knows everything about me and it felt good to be able to talk about things that I can’t/don’t normally talk about with others. She just gets it.

We even meet up for drinks later that night. It was so much fun! I’m really happy we reconnected but at the same time I’m not going to think this will be a regular occurrence. Even though she is back living where I live. She’s one of those friends that when we talk we get along great and then when it’s done, we just go along with our own lives until we meet up again.

And you know what? That’s just fine with me.

Change of plans

I was all set to go see this apartment today. I kept going back and forth about whether or I should go and finally I decided to just go see it. Doesn’t me I have to take it right?

Well after all that, the girl e-mailed me to tell me a friend of hers is taking the room.

Oh well. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be then.

I still want to move out but I really need to be making more money first. I really hate the idea of living paycheck to paycheck.

Instead of looking for apartments, I’m going to be looking for jobs.

Wish me luck!!

Splurge

Last Wednesday I was sick. I mean like woke up at 2:30 am feeling like crap sick. The worst part was that I could not fall back to sleep. I don’t think that’s ever happened to me before. By 5 am I decided I wasn’t going to work and see a doctor. I hate using my PTO days like this. I rather save them and use them for vacation but there was no way I was going to make it through the day on like 2 hours of sleep.

Turns out I caught a parasite from my trip to Jamaica and had to start taking 3 different prescriptions to get rid of it. Thankfully I went to the doctor because it would have gotten a lot worse and with the medicine I was starting to feel better later that day.

By the weekend I was feeling great. Saturday I got my haircut and colored. I went really dark this time and it took a while for me to get used to it. Since the sun lighted up my hair so much this summer it was like a new person staring back into the mirror. I’m loving it now though. It really makes my eyes pop out.

For some reason I really felt like spending money this weekend. First was my hair, which cost a pretty penny. Then I bought a Kate Spade bag from their outlet store. It is gorgeous and I don’t even regret spending all that money on it. It was 40% off, I couldn’t resist. Then I bought myself some Puma sneakers and a birthday gift for my friend and my mom. Both aren’t for a while but I just couldn’t help myself.

In total I spent almost $500 dollars this weekend. Since I’m pretty tight with my money usually I tend to splurge once in a while. This was defiantly a splurge weekend. I don’t even feel guilty!

Have you ever just splurged on something without giving it a second thought? What was your best splurge?

Jumping head first

Sooo remember my post a while back about me looking at apartments on Craigslist? Well I found one that sounds amazing and I contacted them. Almost immediately I got a reply back from them giving me all the information that I asked for. Going back and forth we set up a time for me to see the place next week.

Que me starting to freak out. I told myself I wouldn't move until I got a better paying job and here I am looking at an apartment that if I were to move in to I would pretty much be living paycheck to paycheck.

The other side of me is saying that if I don't do this now, who knows when I will actually move out?? What if I live at home FOREVER and become a sad sad person?

I decided I'm not going to make myself crazy until I actually see the place. You never know I might hate it, or not like my potential roomates. At the same time what if I love it and then realize that I really can't afford it? Then I will be upset.

Ugh I really need to stop thinking about this.

One step at a time.

No problem mon!

While I was in Jamaica something happened to me that rarely EVER happens.

I was hit on. A lot.

I mean like every single guy who worked at the resort hit on me. I am not the kind of girl that has guys regularly approach me when I go out so this was interesting to say the least.

At first it was really flattering. Guys telling me how beautiful I am, writing their addresses down and asking me to keep in touch, even guys asking me to sleep with them within one minute of talking to them. One guy even told me that he thought about me while he was smoking up the night before. How romantic is that? Lol.

Then it quickly turned into me being really freaked out.

I mean everywhere I went it happened. While I was on the beach, the lifeguards and beach attendants would seek me out and come talk. One guy who called himself Sticky sought me out like 10 times a day. Every time he would ask me to be his girlfriend, ask if he could come visit me or ask when I would come back to see him.

What really got me was after the conversation was over instead of leaving he would just stand there staring at me. It was so awkward.

There was another man, Marlon, who said he wanted my body and that we would have a beautiful relationship. He was like 50, was missing teeth and was asking me to be his girlfriend! Then he would walk away about 20 feet, stand there and stare at me.

You know how some guys you can just tell that they are harmless, while others you met give you this feeling deep down that you want to stay away from them? Well that was how it was that week. Some guys would talk to me and I wouldn’t be freaked out or anything. It was just fun and flirty. Others like Sticky and Marlon really started to freak me out. I mean I would be walking back to my room and all of a sudden there is Sticky walking with me.

Also they would always try and get my friends and I to go off the resort and out with them. Since the resort has a lot of rules about staff talking to guests for to long, they would always ask us to meet them off the resort.

We went out once with this one guy Stewie who you could tell was harmless and actually really fun to hang out with. He really liked my one friend so I figured I was safe when we went out. Well turns out Stewie is really good friends with Sticky and invited him to come along. I was pretty pissed. Sticky was wasted before he even showed up and then the entire time was all over me. Sitting on a bar stool he was like glued next to me and kept on asking me to be his girlfriend.

Also the bar we went to was the sketchiest place I have ever been in. We were the only girls in the place and every single man there approached us. After about an hour I was done and just wanted to get back to the resort. When we left Sticky came and kept on trying to kiss me. Which was really awkward again.

Then they finally left and right before we got to the resort one of the guys from the bar came up to me and asked why I wouldn’t talk to him when he was giving me the look the whole time. I tried to be polite but at that point I was fed up so I just said goodbye and went into the resort.

While it was nice to get attention like that, I just wish it hadn’t been so intense for the entire week. Most of the guys though were fun; it was just the few bad ones that really irked me.

Jamaica pictures

My friends and I at the Jetty bar. The swings were big and comfy!

I climbed a Waterfall!! Another post about that later.

View from the beach at the resort. You can see the boats that we got to use.

Me on the glass bottom boat

Bottom of the boat

Some of the fish we got to see!

The Catamaran

Me sailing away on it.

View of the resort. You can see the little huts that people got to stay in. We opted for sleeping in an actual hotel room which was bigger and more comfortable for the three of us.

Me at dinner with the sun setting behind me.

Sunset Jamaican style

Everything Irie

I really have no idea where to start about my vacation. It was so beautiful down there and there was just so much stuff to do at the resort. Usually when you stay at an all-inclusive place the food, drinks, tip and things are included. A lot of times though any kind of water activity you may want to do aren’t. With this place they included tons of activities that I was so happy about! I usually tend to get ADD and really restless when I sit at the beach all day long. Here I didn’t have to worry about that because I was able to break up my day with funs things to do!

There was a trampoline in the ocean with was so much fun to go on.

There were paddleboats and kayaks you could take out whenever.

We did a glass bottom boat tour that was so cool.

The guy who did our tour apparently had a crush on me (more on that later) and took me and my friends out on the catamaran after the glass bottom boat and took us all around. That was by far my favorite thing.

Other things they offered that we didn’t get a chance to do were water skiing (I can’t because of my knee) and the banana boats (broken for the WHOLE week).

On top of all the activities they were always organizing games on the land. Whether it be volleyball, horseshoes or trivia there was always something going on.

They also were also playing music throughout the place from either a DJ or a live band. Although my only complaint about the music was this place LOVED the electric slide. They must have played that song literally 10 times a day! The best was when one of the bands played the song. They were three really old guys singing an acoustic slow version of the song. It was hilarious to hear it played like that. Especially the boogie oogie part. lol.

At night they had a show in the main area of the resort. If you didn’t want to see the show you could walk to the other side of the resort and go to the Jetty Bar, which was by far my favorite place. Instead of stools at the bar you sat on swings! Isn’t that the best idea ever?? You would get your drink and can sip and swing. Heaven.

The resort is technically only 3 Star, but honestly because of the service there it should be higher. The staff does their best to keep you happy and entertained. Also the front desk was really helpful and friendly. We had a problem with our room and right away we were able to switch to a much more comfortable room. Then that room had some ants in the bathroom but again right away they sent someone up and we had no more bugs.

All in all this is a place I would defiantly consider going to again in the future.

Since I don’t want to make this a super long post I am breaking it up. Each day this week will be a new post. Tomorrow will be pictures!

I'm Back!!!!

I'm back from my trip. I promise to do a post about my trip very soon. In the meantime enjoy this lovely picture I took while away!

I already miss it!!!

A nice surprise

Originally when I first booked my upcoming trip a friend of mine was planning on coming but then realized that she was already going away with her family that week. I was sad that she couldn't come but completely understood.

Last night she called my Best Friend all upset. She told her that her parents had canceled the trip at the last minute! I don't really know the details but anyway my friend suggested that she still come along to Jamaica. So last night at like 10 pm she booked a flight and will be joining us in Jamaica on Monday!!

I'm sad that her original trip didn't work out but I am happy that she was still able to come with us. I still can't believe she booked the plane ticket two days before my friend and I are leaving. I've never been THAT spontaneous before.

Now I've been trying to set up transportation with the hotel for her, which is annoying since the person I am dealing with is brain dead, but I want to make sure it's all settled. If I was her I would defiantly be a little nervous about traveling all that way by myself.

Either way I'm still really excited about her coming!!!

Nervous Nelly

My trip is so freaking close!!!!! I have to admit though I am started to get nervous. Nervous? Even though it’s my vacation and I should be looking forward to relaxing right now I’m filled with nerves. I tend to be a person who worries a lot and always thinks of the worst-case scenario.

What if it rains the whole time? What if the resort is gross? What if there are only couples and no singles? What if I loose my luggage? What if I forget my passport? And so many other worries.

I know once I get there I will be fine and able to relax, but for now it’s me being a freak worrying about stupid things.

Lat night I even had a dream were everything I thought would go wrong did! The only way I knew it was a dream was because Morgan Freeman was the bellhop!! Lol. That was funny. He was just like the God Character in that Bruce Almighty movie. He kept popping up everywhere!

Also even if it does rain, or if it’s coupley and I loose my luggage I’m sure I will still have a good time!! I am just looking forward to going to Jamaica and escaping reality for a little while!!

What’s the worst thing that happened to you while on vacation?

Woodstock

This past weekend a friend of mine decided to have an impromptu BBQ. The people who live behind her house decided to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Woodstock by having this huge event. It’s a big property so they set up a big stage and had dozens of bands playing music all day to the songs of Woodstock. Between each set there was a DJ playing music.

Since my friend was right behind the house she was able to enjoy the music first hand. It was loud but not so loud that you couldn’t talk to people. A bunch of us came over and had some food and drinks and were able to enjoy the music the whole night. It was so much fun. The house next door must have had hundreds of people there. There was even a bunch RVs parked behind the house (it used to be a farm and they have a big property). It really was a tiny version of Woodstock.

Also my friend has a pool and bought a beer pong table that actually floats in the water. That was so much fun!

The only bad thing was I wasn’t really planning on drinking a lot and ended up getting trashed. Since I am weird about sleeping at other people’s places (I prefer my bed) I actually had to call my mom to pick me up! She was a good sport about it and I’m really glad I went home because I ended up getting a little sick in the middle of the night. lol.

Thankfully I wasn’t to hung over the next day and had a great time at my grandma’s. She made homemade ravioli and it was amazing. Also it wasn’t too hot in her apartment!

A closed chapter

I have mentioned in the past that I no longer have a relationship with my dad. While I am no longer sad or have any regrets about the entire situation, people still feel the need to bring the subject up all the time. I don’t know if they just don’t believe me that I am fine or just can’t understand the situation, but it really gets on my nerves after a while.

Especially if people KNOW I don’t talk to him anymore and feel the need to ask if I’ve spoken to him lately or how is he doing. When people say things to me I feel like they are saying it to make me feel guilty, or are looking down at me for being such a terrible person for not speaking with him.

I try my best to diffuse the situation but I don’t really know how to get these people to just stop asking me. It’s a closed chapter in my life, one that I don’t feel the need to have to defend all the time.

My mother seems to be the worst offender when it comes to bringing him up. She knows how I feel and yet she keeps on “trying” to get me to talk to him. Which is complete bullshit because she honestly couldn’t be happier that he is out of my life. I don’t understand why she has to do that.

Like yesterday she told that it was his birthday and maybe I should call him or something. Maybe I should send him a gift? Umm are you serious??? I feel like she only brought it up to get a rise out of me.
She puts on this façade with our family and friends about how she wants me to have a relationship with him but I know that is a complete lie. Many times has she told me about what she thinks of him. Trust me though, that’s not the reason him and me don’t speak anymore. It’s a looonnnggg story.

Also, when I was trying to have a relationship with him back in college I visited him during spring break. Because I actually had an okay time instead of wanting to kill myself, which is what she secretly wanted, she got so mad at me that she did not speak to me for almost 2 months!! I’m not even exaggerating.

Why does she have to keep on bringing that whole subject up? I’ve tried many times to get her to understand how it makes me feel but she doesn’t seem to grasp it. She seems to think that I have all these issues and anger toward him but that’s not true. I’ve completely forgiven him, not for him but so I could finally move on with my life. It’s just that I’m happier with him out of my life than when he is in it. He tended to make me miserable and feel awful about myself. I didn’t need that so I walked away.

I know it’s a tough situation but I wish it could just be left alone. I’m fine and I have never once regretted the fact that I no longer have a dad in my life anymore.

I wish people would get that and stop thinking I’m lying when I say that.

My hero

I never thought I'd say this but I am ready for the fall! It is just so gross outside. I want cool crisp air and not being completely covered in sweat by the time I walk into my office!

I hope this humidity lets up a little bit by this weekend. I am going to my grandma's on Sunday for her birthday and she does not have any AC in her house. With all the cooking and people in there it will become an oven in no time. I defiantly see myself hiding in her basement trying to cool off!

Besides the heat I am excited to be going. She will be 87 and is healthier then me. It's amazing really, she lives by herself, cooks, cleans and gardens all the time, and even walks (she never learned to drive) to the supermarket to get the things she can't grow outside. She's always had this great outlook on life and managed to do very well for herself despite never learning how to even write.

She came to America when she was 13 and because her family was struggling went right to work in a sweat shop. She never went to school. She learned how to speak English from a woman she worked with. A woman who to this day is her best friend. She eventually learned how to read but never was able to write. Only to sign her name.

When she got married she still had to keep working. My grandpa was a TV and electronic repair man and didn't make a lot of money back then. After WWII not a lot of woman kept on working. My grandma was the ultimate superwoman. She worked hard during the day but always made sure she was home before her children. She made sure to always have a clean house and a feed family.

Even though they didn't make a lot my grandma knew how to stretch out a dollar. She saved any chance she got. She's always lived in the same house. It was pretty large, it housed my grandma and her family, her sister and family. Plus her parents and other siblings lived there. Soon her sister moved on, as did her brothers. She was able to make 3 apartments in her house and began to rent them out.

She was able to stop working and really enjoy her life. Because they saved so well my grandparents were able to travel all over. They never had to skimp again.

Now 74 years after she came to America, my grandma is still in the same house and still doing great.

My grandma on the left with her sister in the garden.

Passing the time

When work is slow and I’ve checked my e-mail about 50 times I have to get creative in ways to pass the time. My new favorite is looking for an apartment on Craigslist.

Looking for an apartment is entertaining and horrifying all at the same time. Seriously some of these people are CRAZY.

Some of them are crazy but in a normalish way. Like if they have a huge list of things you have to be and do if you want to live there. IE, non-smoker, neat freak, spilt chores, etc.

Others, are just plain scary.

One man was a nudist who wanted to live with a fellow nudist. You would SHARE a bedroom with him (??) but nothing sexual would happen if you didn’t want it to. Dude, you are sharing a bed, obviously you want to do something with them. Then he stated that if you were to walk in on him pleasuring himself in the kitchen (why there?) he wouldn’t mind if you watched and/or joined in. WTF. Does that not sound like a crazy psycho or what?

I wonder if anyone actually replies to ads like that? Anyway it is amusing and passes the time.

The only downside is sometimes I read a listing and it sounds PERFECT for me to live there. The person sounds normal maybe even fun, the rent is reasonable and the pictures are gorgeous. Then I get upset because I’m not ready to move out yet.

I really want a new job before I move out.

Although the more I look at these listings the more I think that maybe come October/November if I don’t have a new job to just take the plunge and move out.

I’m not going to plan ahead that far. I’m just going to take things one step at a time and hopefully everything will work itself out!

Do you every browse Craiglist or any other type of website? What kind of crazies have you run into?

Leaving on a jet plane

In a few weeks I will be going to Jamaica!! While I really couldn’t be more excited, there is one thing that I have been freaking out about.

Layovers.

I HATE layovers and usually do everything in my power to avoid them at all costs. I’m the person who doesn’t mind spending extra money if it means having a direct flight. Unfortunately for this trip there are very few direct flights to Jamaica and the ones that were available were just too much money.

So now I will have an 1 and a half layover going there and a 3 and a half one coming home. Ugh. The good news is that I will have some company to help pass the time. It’s not so much the waiting that I mind, it’s that I have a huge fear of my luggage being lost or not making the plane.

I know that it probably won’t happen but here’s the thing. It’s happened to me before. The ONE other layover I’ve ever done and my luggage was left behind. I was coming home from studying abroad and I had a quick 45-minute layover in Dublin. When I was booking it I was so excited that it was only 45 minutes.

Little did I know though that 45 minutes is not enough time when you have to recheck in (again), go through security (again) and run across an entire airport. I running like that scene in Home Alone. Also when I got to the gate the flight attendant and a guard was waiting for me and yelled at me for being so late! It was so creepy because they new my name before I even showed my ticket. I guess when you check in and don’t board a plane a whole bunch of security measures have to be taken to make sure I wasn’t some crazy person trying to bomb a plane. Good Times.

Anyway I finally made it and was happy to be one my way. When I finally arrived to my destination I went happily to retrieve my luggage. After 30 minutes and no more bags left on the carousel I realized that my bags didn’t make it. 45 minutes is also not enough time for luggage to be transferred from plane to plane.

It took 3 days before I finally got them back! Since I was traveling internationally my luggage was detained and completely ransacked by customs. After that whole experience I pretty much vowed to never again do a layover.

Here I am 3 years later and I have to do a layover. Also I just found out that the airline now charges for checking luggage. WTF. I can understand charging for a second bag but the first one?? That’s just wrong.

Now I’m seriously considering trying to carry on. It would give me piece of mind about not losing anything and also I won’t have to pay an extra fee. However I am the worst packer ever! I’m the girl that packs enough clothes for a month for only a week trip.

Which is why I’m asking you for some packing tips!! I’m desperate! Or would you check your bags and hope for the best?

Fun in the Sun

This past weekend was great. My friends came up late Friday night. It was so good to see them and catch each other up on our lives. Saturday we headed to the beach and ended up staying the entire day. If you know me, you know that I can’t really spend hours at the beach. I get ADD and start to go crazy but this time I was fine. That weather was perfect and the water was warm. I was in the water more than I was on the sand it was that nice.

We didn’t end up leaving until 5:30. Seriously I have never done that before but I love it. Since we stayed so long there though I wasn’t able to make it to my friend’s engagement party. One the one hand I do feel really guilty about missing it, but on the other I wish I had a lot more notice. I decided that I am going to take the couple out to dinner and stuff to celebrate. I figure it’s the least I can do. If only she will pick up her phone I could make plans. I really hope she isn’t mad at me and ignoring my calls because I don’t really feel it’s justified. I’ll just keep trying.

Saturday night we all went out and drank way too much. I don’t know why, but whenever I go out with them I always get like ridiculous. Either way I had a blast and none of us got in trouble.

I’m happy they came up and they have decided to no longer ban visiting NJ.

What would you do to make up for missing a party for a friend? Or if a friend was mad at you?

What would you do?

This weekend a couple of my friends from college are coming up to visit me. I’m really excited because I’m the one that always has to go down there. They haven’t been up to NJ in 3 years! Anyway while I couldn’t be more excited I just realized something:

Saturday is an engagement party for one of my oldest friends! It completely slipped my mind that her party was this weekend. It also doesn’t help that she never actually sent out invitations to anyone. I just know it’s this weekend because she told me about it once like 5 months ago.

Anyway I know it’s Saturday but I don’t even know when it starts or anything like that. She sent out a mass text (which I hate btw) telling people about the party but she didn’t even say a time! Oh and I didn’t even get the mass text, a bunch of my other friends got it and told me.

I’m assuming that she just didn’t mark my name while texting and that I am still invited, I’m the one who introduced them together, but I don’t know what I should do.

Do I not go and call her explaining why? Should I try and go for at least an hour with or without my friends?

What really gets me is that she didn’t specifically invite me but knowing her I know she will be upset if I don’t go. What also gets me is that she didn’t send out invitations to anyone.

While I get that my generation is all about technology and it’s viewed as old fashion to mail out physical invites and even thank you cards to people. I still believe that they should be mailed out. I think even e-mails can be tacky. The best kind of mail is the one where you open the letter with your own hands.

You’re getting married, you just bought a house, its time to grow up and send out freaking invites to people!

What is she going to do for the big day? A facebook event listing?

Ugh

Is anyone else sick of this Effing rain??

I would like some sun now.

One is the loneliness number

This past weekend was a blast. It really felt like summer, especially since it was so hot and humid out you couldn’t go outside for 2 seconds without sweating and your hair frizzing out! Anyway on Saturday my friends and I went to this bar that’s on the beach. It was for an event called Dunesday.

Basically, we got their at noon set up on the beach and tanned, went swimming, drank a lot, ate a lot and listened to music for the entire day. It was heaven. For the most part it was really nice out. It got cloudy and rained a little for like an hour but then the sky cleared back up again.

I had a blast but around 5:30 I was freezing and was covered in sand. I was just really uncomfortable. I headed home earlier than my friends but it gave me time to rest up for going out that night.

I was really tired so I wasn’t really up for going out that night. At the same time I didn’t want to be a Debbie downer either. The people who went out was my best friend, her boyfriend, our friend J and her friend from work S. S is a guy who is married but his wife was out of town that weekend.

That night he defiantly did not act like his was married at all. He was completely inappropriate with J. Like 2 seconds from making out inappropriate. I kept on calling him J’s husband for the day. (I would give some background on J herself but this post isn’t really about them) Also he wanted to fight people, which was really annoying and immature. What is with guys who are drunk just wanting to fight? However his actions were none of my business.

The thing that bothered me was when we were all on the dance floor dancing together. All of a sudden my friend and her BF started to dance together and then J and S started to bump and grind and there I was right next to them all by myself. I was so uncomfortable just standing there with what looked like 2 couples and a fifth wheel. Just thinking of it now makes me feel uncomfortable.

I am defiantly not one of those people who gets jealous of her friend’s happiness or when they date someone, but that night right there on the dance floor I felt lonely. Heart-wrenchingly lonely. I was on the verge of tears the loneliness was so strong. What surprised me the most were those feelings. I have never felt like that when I go out with my friends but I guess it was the mixture of awkwardness and the acute realization that I really want a someone special in my life that mad me so upset.

I feel like it’s impossible to meet anyone. I need put myself out there more but 1) I don’t really know how to and 2) I am still suffering from crazy self-esteem issues. I just feel like I’m in this weird Catch-22 right now. I want a boyfriend but at the same time I don’t want to have a boyfriend just so I can feel complete. I want to feel complete with or without a man in my life.

Despite that one moment, which really only lasted like a half hour I still had fun that night. The weekend was tapped off lying by my friend’s pool all day. Although it was so hot out that I was basically in the pool the entire time. My hands were like prunes when I got home!

Have you ever been that lonely? Or jealous of a friend’s happiness?

Rant

Today on the train I had the pleasure of sitting by a girl who literally talked on her cell phone the entire hour and ten minutes.

The best part?

The bulk of that conversation was about her finding a dress for Halloween!!!

Did I miss something? It is still July right? Who the hell starts to freak out about getting a costume now?!?!?

Then she was going on and on about her job as a camp counselor and how hard it was. Really? It's hard?? Really? Playing outside with kids all day is hard? I was a lifeguard and Swim teacher for rowdy kids and I loved every minute of it. I defiantly don't remember it being hard.

Then she was complaining about how young she looks and she is worried about it being a problem for when she goes on vacation and getting trashed. Which was actually funny to hear because that was defiantly a concern of mine when I was younger. And actually still is. Sucks having a baby face.

However I would have never talked about it when I was in a train where the whole car can hear me! I don’t like to inform the world about private matters, but that’s just me.

She went on about a few other things but I won’t relay them back. I just don’t understand why people talk on a cell phone so loudly. Or why do you talk on a cell phone on a train that is dead silent. You have to realize that everyone can hear you right? Maybe she thought she was cool talking about these things. Which really wouldn’t surprise me. If it was me? I would feel like an ass.

End rant.

Love/Hate

Loves
-The sale at Nordstrom. Hello beautiful clothes that are actually affordable. Oh and the shoes!
-Can’t get enough of the shoes.
-True Blood. I defiantly am going to pick up the books soon. I am dying to find out what’s going to happen!
-So you think you can dance. That show is so good this year that I don’t even have a favorite yet. -I can’t wait for tomorrow!My dog. He is just adorable and trouble maker, which is too cute that I can’t get mad.

Hate
-Leaving my dog to go to work or anywhere really. He actually starts to cry.
-That I have no while power when it comes to certain things like shopping and eating food I shouldn’t be.
-That it’s only Tuesday
-Being bored at work.

Excited
-Getting to leave work soon
-My friends coming to visit in 2 weeks.
-Jamaica!!!

How are you feeling today?

Weekend tidbits

Finally booked my plane ticket to Jamaica!!! The third person I was supposed to go with kept on delaying us about buying the tickets and then last minute he backed out. What pissed me off is that he probably decided months ago that he wasn’t going to go but didn’t have the decency to let us know and we waited like idiots for him to buy the tickets. Whatever. In my opinion it’s his loss. Now that it’s booked I’m really excited about everything!! I can’t wait!

Friday I took my cousins to the boardwalk. I haven’t been to the boardwalk, like walk around play games and go on rides, in years. I usually go there and go to a bar. I defiantly remember it being much bigger and a lot more stuff to do. I guess that's what happens when you get older. You remember everything being much bigger than it was. We were ready to leave after only a half hour. I was still happy to go though. I got to eat Dippin Dots so I was happy.

Since the boardwalk was kinda a bust we went to see the new Harry Potter movie. It was so good! I love these movies! I can’t wait for the next one! Also I really think I might finally read the books so I can get all the subplots and stuff.

The rest of the weekend was spent with me working on my tan. The weather was amazing and I had a blast spending time with my cousins on Saturday.

How was your weekend?

6th sense

My dog almost puked on my bed this morning! I woke up to him making those noises that dogs make when they are about to blow and I quickly put him on the floor before there was a HUGE mess. Not the best way to start my morning.

I’ve been all messed up with my days this week. On Monday I thought it was FRIDAY (HA I wish!). Wednesday felt like Tuesday and today feels like a Monday. I’m so confused! Also I love how each day of the week conveys certain feelings!

This weekend I plan on taking my cousins to the boardwalk. I haven’t been to the boardwalk all summer so I think I may be more excited then they are to go!

I still have not bought my plane tickets for my trip to Jamaica. All this crap keeps on happening to prevent me from buying them and I’m starting to freak out. Every day I go online and see that the prices are even higher then they were last time. I keep on having this recurring nightmare that I’m just not going to be able to go. I will feel better once the tickets will be booked, which I hope happens this weekend.

Have you ever had a paranoid feeling that something is wrong? Like deep down in your gut you feel like something bad is going to happen? I’ve had that feeling ALL day and I can’t seem to shake it. I would like to just pin point the reason so I can deal with it and go away. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.

Have you experienced this? Even better have you experienced that and find out that something WAS wrong? That’s happened to me before. It was freaky.

Blowing Bubbles*

This past weekend was so beautiful out! I was in heaven. Got to go to the beach both days to enjoy the sun. I also started teaching swim lessons to a friend’s son. I forgot how cute and fun it was!

When I was a lifeguard I was certified in teaching swim lessons and taught for 4 summers. It was a blast! I haven’t done them in years but when I was asked to start training their 3-year-old son I couldn’t say no. They are just the cutest at that age while learning.

I was lucky because the boy wasn’t afraid of the water, which is usually half the battle when dealing with kids that young. He was fearless. I miss being that young and not afraid to try anything.

I’m looking forward to teaching some more lessons. He’s still pretty young so he probably won’t be able to swim on his own by the end of the summer, but next year he will be a fish!

Also I think my friends from college might be finally making a trip to visit me this summer! It’s hard with everyone’s schedules but I really hope it works out. They haven’t been up here in 3 years (I always go there) and when they visited there were some mishaps that happened. They vowed to never return but I am slowly convincing them to give it another try! I’ll keep you posted on what they decide.


I can’t believe it’s already mid-July. I feel like this summer is flying by! It needs to slow down a little bit!

*A technique I use when teaching kids how to swim

No more excuses

Something seems to finally have clicked with me. I don’t know how or why but I seem to finally be ready to get healthy and in shape. I’m tired of feeling sluggish all the time. I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath.

While I’ve had a problem with my weight for a long time, I’ve never done anything about it. I’ve never dieted because I was too scared that I would fail. I also didn’t want to become one of those serial dieters who spend their whole lives trying a new diet and constantly talking about their diet. In reality I don’t want to be on a diet. I just want to eat better and in proportion.

I can’t blame my weight on genetics or anything. When I was younger I was thin. It wasn’t until my parents split up that I actually started to gain weight. Talk about a textbook case. Girl’s parents spilt up, girl is depressed, girl eats to make herself feel better. Then after I wasn’t depressed anymore, I just kept on eating. There was a time in high school when I lost some weight and I felt great. I wasn’t a size 2, I’ll never be. I was around a size 12 but most importantly I was healthy. I felt great. I want to get back to there. I want to feel good about myself again. I’m tired of digging myself into this lonely hole. I’m ready to feel like me again.

The only problem? I don’t know where to start. Like I’ve said before I’ve never attempted to diet so I don’t really know where to start with it. Also when it comes to working out there isn’t really any time during the week I could do this. I’m gone for 13 hours each day. Plus I don’t want to take on too much at once because I know I will just give up. I’m the person who wants to go on a diet and loose all the weight within the month. Which I know is A) not possible and B) really unhealthy. I still wish I could though.

I took the first step the other day and joined this website called SparkPeople. It’s a community for people trying to loose weight. What appealed to me is it’s not about a diet; it’s about a healthy lifestyle. There are tons of tools and tips that you can use to incorporate into your daily routine. The best part and the main reason why I joined? Is the site has a nutrition tracker. Every day you just type in what you ate and it calculates all the calories, fat and protein in it. I don’t have to do the math. It’s all done for me!

This makes me optimistic that I will keep up with this because the main thing I hate about diets is the keeping track and adding up everything each day. It’s tiring and too cumbersome for me. This basically gives me no excuses.

Let me just say when I logged in my first day of food I was mortified by the amount of calories I had consumed. I always told myself that while I wasn’t eating the best foods I was eating everything in proportion. Boy was I wrong. My eating is/was out of control. Seeing this, really made me start thinking about the food choices I make each day. Which I’ve never done in the past.

Another great thing about the website, is there are recipes and even a group for people who are picky eaters! I am a very picky eater which has also discouraged me in the past about dieting. Hopefully this will help!

Now I have to go out and buy a scale, which frightens the hell out of me. I’m actually really embarrassed to buy one. I know that sounds silly but it’s true. I feel like if I buy a scale everyone in the store will think “aww poor fat girl trying to lose weight”. Which is ridiculous but I can’t help it!

Do you have any tips for losing weight? Or what was the craziest diet you’ve ever had?

Contentment

I had a really nice long weekend. It was really laid back which was exactly what I needed.

Friday I went to the beach in the morning and it was great, until it started pouring at noon. Which was fine. I tend to get ADD if I’m at the beach for to long. I can’t seem to sit still. I got to the beach early that day so I was about ready to leave when it started to get cloudy. The rest of the day was me just relaxing followed by a trip to Ulta to use a gift card I got for my birthday. I love Ulta. I can literally spend hours in there wandering around.

Also I went to a friend’s house for a BBQ. Every year on the 3rd there is fireworks near me. It’s a really big event and loads of people come down. I love them but because of the amount of people we have to park about 2 miles away and walk to where they are. I’ve done it before but this year I was just not feeling it. I knew my foot wouldn’t be able to handle all the walking and standing so I just went to the BBQ and left when they all started walking. Honestly I wasn’t even that bummed out about missing them.

Saturday I headed to the beach again. I left really early to beat the traffic and it was gorgeous out! No humidity, plenty of sun and a nice breeze. To me there is nothing better then being on a beach reading a book. It was a great way to celebrate the holiday. The water was also really nice. It wasn’t crazy cold like it usually is. After I got bored I headed home to enjoy the rest of the day watching movies.

Sunday I went to a BBQ at family friends. It was good to see them and enjoy the day outside like that.

I was sad to have to go back to work today. It was such a nice weekend I didn’t want it to end! Also it made me sad that I have to wait almost 2 months until my vacation!! I ready to have a break NOW.

How was your Fourth of July?

Red White and Blue

I still have some major writers block going on. I just can’t seem to form words on paper. Also doesn’t it seem like everyone is up and quitting their blog??? I hate that! I feel like I’m losing a friend each time that happens. It’s so strange how you can feel like you know someone so well even though you’ve never actually meet them before! Even though I may not be blogging as much right now, I will keep it up!! I’m way to invested in it now!

I’ve also been under the weather for the past two weeks, which may be why I don’t feel like writing or doing anything in general. I have this cough that makes me sound like a 90-year-old smoker and everyone around me cringes each time I cough. On Friday I finally caved in and went to the doctor. After waiting over an hour to see her, she told me I basically wasn’t sick enough. My throat wasn’t red enough, the cough not phlegmy enough, and my nose not stuffed up enough. WTF is that? Who says that?

On a whim she decided to do a strep test just in case. On Monday she called to let me know that I do have Strep Throat!! Even though I hate to be sick, I was happy that I there was something wrong with me if it was only to prove her wrong! Monday I started anti-biotics and hopefully this whole thing will be gone in a few days.

Even though it’s the 4th of July this weekend I don’t really feel like being all that social. I just want to rest up and start feeling better. I haven’t had a good night sleep in weeks and it’s really starting to take its toll on me. Also after last weekend I really don’t’ think my liver can handle any more drinking. I don’t want to miss anything either. I’m just going to play everything by ear.

On the plus side my office gave us Friday off to make it a long weekend! Also they are letting us leave early tomorrow!! I’m really happy about that!!

What are your plans for this holiday weekend?

The Party never stops

I’m officially 25 years old!

I can’t believe I’m 25, sometimes I still feel like a teenager.

Also it’s my 200th post!!! I can’t believe that either!!

Despite being really freaked out about turning 25 I decided to celebrate the occasion right. By right I mean basically celebrating from Thursday until Sunday my actual birthday!

Thursday I left work early and came home to spend some time with my family. Then some friends and I went to a bar nearby. I proceeded to drink way too much. I was happy though because my brother who has been away for the past year came out for a little while. I had barely seen him since he got home on Tuesday so I was happy to have some time with him out. Also I managed to run into a ton of people that I knew so it was great seeing all of them and just having fun.

Friday I was supposed to go see No Doubt in concert. A bunch of us gathered at my friends to have a BBQ and drink before going to the concert. The venue no longer allows tailgating. Anyway one friend was stuck in a lot of traffic so we were waiting for her to get here. When she did arrive, 30 minutes before the concert was supposed to start, it started to downpour and there was crazy thunder and lighting out.

Since our tickets were for lawn seats the going to the concert was quickly forgotten about. While I really wanted to go to the concert, I was happy I didn’t get stuck outside in the rain and lighting like that. Also the tickets were only 15 dollars so I wasn’t to upset about missing it. We just ended up staying in at my friends drink and laughing. Which was just fine by me. Oh and the best part!?!? My friend got me a special ice cream cake with a picture of me when I was little on it! It was seriously the best ice cream cake EVER. I put a picture below!

Saturday my brother had some friends over to visit since he hasn’t seen them in 6 months. I too had some friends stop by so it turned into a nice little gathering. My brother’s friend made chicken wings and his secret sauce and they were delicious! Also he brought over a beer pong table. The whole day was centered around drinking, eating and playing beer pong. I had a blast.

That night I decided to ring in my actual birthday at this bar/club near by. It’s half outside and half inside with like 6 different bars and even a little beach and volleyball field there. There must have been some event going on because they were giving out t-shirts, hats, glow sticks, stuff animals and towels. I managed to score a t-shirt, hat and even a little stuffed duck. The duck got annoying to hold onto so that was quickly discarded but I kept the shirt and hat! Well the hat I eventually ditched too because it got way to hot. See below for an awesome pic of me wearing the hat!

Finally on Sunday my birthday my aunt and cousins came over and my mom made homemade pizza!! It is seriously the best pizza EVER. I basically ate an entire pie all by myself it was that good.

All in all I had a pretty great birthday!! It was great spending time with friends and family and doing it up right. It defiantly made up for the awful birthday I had last year!!

Hopefully this celebration is great foreshadowing as to how 25 will be!!!

Best Cake EVER

Me now and then

Me and the crazy hat!