Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Out of debt!! (Sort of)

Prior to my getting let go from work, I was working hard to pay off my credit card. I was getting close, but it seemed like it was never gonna happen. I was able to pay of my car about a month before I was laid off, so I had that off my shoulders.

Then I was laid off, which is still the biggest blessing that could have happened to me. I can't help but be so happy lately. Anyway with the severance I received, I was able to fully pay off my credit card!!! And put a good chunk into savings!

Whooo hoooo!!!

It feels great to be out of debt like this. Granted I'm not out of the hole though. I still have my student loans which I'll be paying off for a while still, but at least that's "good" credit and I won't have to pay them while I'm back at school in September.

It's a great weight that's been lifted off my shoulders. Things are moving forward in the right direction and I can't wait for it to keep moving forward. I'm like a kid, who cannot wait for school to start soon! I never ever thought I would say that after college, but it's the truth!

For now I'm just enjoying my summer and soaking up the sun!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Funny How things work out

A week ago today I was laid off from my job. Normally this would be a bad this to happen to someone. However this was the best thing to ever happen to me!!

Since I was planning on quitting in August to go back to school, they actually did me a huge favor. I was dying having to work there, knowing I would be leaving soon. It's not a fun place to work anymore and it was just making me miserable. When I was laid off they gave me severance that brings me to when I would have quit anyway. It was a sign.

Best part, is I will be able to collect unemployment while I am at school. That is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! Knowing that I will have some money come in while I am at school makes me feel better. I don't have to worry about paying for my bills and now I can even save up some money.

Now I can enjoy the rest of my summer and do whatever I want before reality sets back in again for me. Ever since I started this journey to find my passion and what I want to do for the rest of my life, I have been overwhelmed by signs and basically being pushed into this direction. For the first time in my life, I feel like I know what I'm doing and I'm happy with my choices.

I never thought I would find that thing, that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It seems though I've finally found it and I couldn't be happier. Now that's not to say things won't change in the future. I may want to become something totally different again, but what I know now is, that's okay. I will be okay, no matter what happens. Even something as terrible as being laid off, happens to be the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I am so excited to go back to school and learn new things! I cannot wait for this adventure to begin.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

My last year in my 20s!

Friday is my 29th Birthday!! While I am so so happy to say good riddance to 28, it has been a shitty year, I am nervous about being 29. Only because I'm making so many changes in my life that I sometimes wish I was younger than I am. Going back to school at 29, for something completely new is terrifying.

It's also something I know without a doubt the right move for me right now. And I know that I would have never been able to pursue baking and culinary without having gone through what I've been through in the past. I find it ironic that I took me losing over a 100 pounds to discover my passion in cooking, but it's true.

When I was heavy I couldn't imagine standing up for long periods of time. Hell I wouldn't even go out to bars when I was overweight for fear of not being able to find a seat. Me losing weight has opened up an entire new world for me. And oddly I'm not even a little bit worried that I'll gain this weight back by becoming a baker. I know better now, I know how to enjoy myself and find balance with my eating.

Growing up, I never pictured myself with a desk job. I wanted to be a makeup artist, a photographer, a chef, anything that was non-traditional. My mom and my fears forced me to study something more realistic when choosing a major in college. It was fear that made me stay stagnant for many years. Fear of the unknown. Fear of actually succeeding and not knowing what to do next. Fear of being happy for once in my life.

I had a lot of growing up to do, and learning to love and accept myself in order to go after what I want in life. That took roughly 28 years to get here, and that was the way it had to happen. I'm still scared of what's to come, but I know to trust myself now and to go forward. I know that even in failure, I'll be able to pick myself back up again and move on. I know how strong I can be and that is worth everything.

As a gift to myself for 29, I'm taking my birthday and all of next week off from work!! WHOOO HOOO! I cannot wait to relax and hopefully enjoy a lot of beach time! Happy 4th of July if I don't check back in while I'm gone.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Making plans and catching up

This past weekend I spent down in Virginia visiting my brother and his family. It was a long weekend but a lot of fun. It was for my niece’s birthday. She is now three! I can't believe it. I took a bunch of pictures but haven't had a chance yet to put them on my computer.

I am glad I made the trip down. I really didn't want to make that drive down in the summer. Going south in the summer around here is like the kiss of death. Horrible traffic. I forced my mother to wake up at 5am on Saturday so we could get a head start. It paid off because we made awesome time and got to spend that much more time with my family.

It was a really nice day. Got caught up with everyone and then had a little BBQ for Abby's birthday. It had started off crummy in the morning but was beautiful by the afternoon which worked out nicely. I was so tired by the time everyone left though. My brother, SIL and I were going to go out for some drinks afterwards but we all were just too spent.

Sunday we got up early again (although I barely slept at all anyway) and then met up with them for breakfast before hitting the road. It was a quick weekend and a whole lot of driving, but worth it. I'm also really excited because in July we will be taking my niece for the week. I cannot wait! I know it'll be a ton of work, but I don't get to see her that often so I'll take what I can.

I'm just trying to fill my days and weekends with fun activities in order to make the time go by a little faster. It really feels like time is standing still at work, so I am making plans so I have something to look forward to.

I am running a race this weekend and going to a BBQ on Sunday. And I actually joined a Softball league that starts next Tuesday. I am so excited!! I played when I was younger but haven't played in years. It's a laid back league though so I'm not worried about being a superstar. But it's something to help break up my week and something new and different!

There's also things on my bucket list that I always do in the summer. It's a must! Going to the boardwalk for dippin dots and all sorts of good food. Going to hurricane harbor or Six Flags for the day and being a kid. To name a few. What are some things that you feel isn't summer until you do them?

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Waiting Game

There is a date in the future, when (not to be dramatic or anything) my entire life will change. Knowing it's there and still a little ways away give me conflicting feelings on a day to day basis.

That day will be my last day of a 9-5 desk job. When I step into the complete unknown and go back to school to start an entirely new path of my life. It's terrifying but so exciting all at the same time. I'm still not 100 percent sure I'm making the right decision, but the excitement I get when I think about it, tells me I'm definitely on the right track.

However waiting for my last day, which is still 3 months away, it's excruciatingly painful. Knowing I have to be here until then is really rough. The days feel endless and like August will never get here. Despite that I've been trying to enjoy my coworkers while I can. I will miss them terribly. They are a big reason why I've been here as long as I have. Having true friends that you work with and you can confide in are really hard to come by. I know this all too well so I want to enjoy them for as long as I can.

Right now I'm not that scared or nervous about what I'm doing. It's still a good distance away for me to not really notice. I know that when those last days are fast approaching, I will get that anxiety and second guess myself. I am so so thankful that my mother has been so supportive of me. If it wasn't for her telling me that no matter what it's going to be okay, I'm not sure I would have had the strength to go through with this. My family and friends who know that it's coming have all been equally supportive for the most part (minus my supposed best friend).

I'm just so excited to get started!!!! I hate waiting; I'm a very impatient person. haha. Never in my life have I wanted to fast forward through summer before, but I just can't wait to start this new chapter in my life!! Although I fully plan on taking advantage of this summer and make it one of the best ever!

Monday, May 6, 2013

My first half marathon!

I did it!!!

I ran my very first half marathon!

yay!!!! I am still in shock that I actually did it!

I can't even tell you how nervous I was for this race!! I was a wreck all weekend. Barely sleeping and feeling sick. I knew I can do it, but I wanted to run at a decent time and this is something I've been working toward for so long. I almost couldn't believe it was finally here.

Sunday morning I woke up bright and early (4:30am) to head on over to the race. The half started at 6:45am and because it's such a big race we had to get there early to beat the traffic. I didn't mind the early time though, I couldn't sleep very much anyway that night. That early it was COLD. I knew it was going to warm up though so I wore shorts and a tank. Blue to support Boston. It was a little scary at the race because security was amped up big time, but it also helped you feel safe.

Here I am with my friends waiting inside.

After hanging out inside in the warm heat it was time to get ready for the race to start. It is unreal the amount of people running the half. I'm not sure I've ever ran such a huge race before. It took a good 5 minutes waiting in our corral before we began. I had planned on staying with my friend the whole race. Unfortunately her knee was killing her, by mile 3 she ended up dropping out of the race.

I was all alone. For 13.1 miles. Which I was surprisingly okay with. I had a good pace going for almost the whole race. Seeing all the spectators with signs cheering us on is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I even had a friend who lived along the course, make me a sign! Which was so fun to see. I was doing really well til about mile 9. Then I started to slow down. Not too much but I was starting to hurt.

At mile 11 I started to get weepy. I couldn't believe I was so close and that I was actually doing this. Everything hurt but I was crying tears of joy.

The last mile is right along the beach. So beautiful and the perfect way for this Jersey girl to end a race.

I finished in 2 hours and 22 minutes!! I had wanted to finish in 2:30, so I am over the moon about that time!

Here I am minutes after finishing!

I can honestly say I have no need to ever try and run a marathon, but I will absolutely run another half marathon!! It was a great day and even though I'm still sore, I'm smiling from ear to ear.