Wednesday, June 26, 2013

My last year in my 20s!

Friday is my 29th Birthday!! While I am so so happy to say good riddance to 28, it has been a shitty year, I am nervous about being 29. Only because I'm making so many changes in my life that I sometimes wish I was younger than I am. Going back to school at 29, for something completely new is terrifying.

It's also something I know without a doubt the right move for me right now. And I know that I would have never been able to pursue baking and culinary without having gone through what I've been through in the past. I find it ironic that I took me losing over a 100 pounds to discover my passion in cooking, but it's true.

When I was heavy I couldn't imagine standing up for long periods of time. Hell I wouldn't even go out to bars when I was overweight for fear of not being able to find a seat. Me losing weight has opened up an entire new world for me. And oddly I'm not even a little bit worried that I'll gain this weight back by becoming a baker. I know better now, I know how to enjoy myself and find balance with my eating.

Growing up, I never pictured myself with a desk job. I wanted to be a makeup artist, a photographer, a chef, anything that was non-traditional. My mom and my fears forced me to study something more realistic when choosing a major in college. It was fear that made me stay stagnant for many years. Fear of the unknown. Fear of actually succeeding and not knowing what to do next. Fear of being happy for once in my life.

I had a lot of growing up to do, and learning to love and accept myself in order to go after what I want in life. That took roughly 28 years to get here, and that was the way it had to happen. I'm still scared of what's to come, but I know to trust myself now and to go forward. I know that even in failure, I'll be able to pick myself back up again and move on. I know how strong I can be and that is worth everything.

As a gift to myself for 29, I'm taking my birthday and all of next week off from work!! WHOOO HOOO! I cannot wait to relax and hopefully enjoy a lot of beach time! Happy 4th of July if I don't check back in while I'm gone.

1 comment:

erin - heart in ireland said...

Happy Birthday!!

Enjoy the beach and yay for doing something you've always wanted to do in the creative side.