Thursday, April 28, 2011

I can't hear you

I've always had problems with my ears. I had chronic ear infections when I was little. I have wax buildup that I had to get tubes in my ears twice to get rid of it. Because of all that, I didn't start speaking until I was 3 years old because I couldn't hear very well. Then when I did start speaking no one could understand me because my speech was so messed up.

Anyway years of speech therapy later and two ear surgeries later I've been okay. I still get ear infections from time to time though, and once in a while I'll get a ear wax buildup. Also from my surgeries I have pretty significant scar tissue in my left ear. I've always known that.

I've also always known that I need to pay special attention to my ears. It's not something I mess around with. Ever. When I was in college I had to have a hearing test for my major. Which I ended up switching anyway. The hearing test came back and showed that I had some hearing loss in my right ear after a certain amount of hertz/decibels. I was really upset when I found that out, but they assured me that I was fine and I didn't need to do anything for it.

Fast forward to today. I had to see an ENT because my right ear felt like it had cotton inside. A sure sign that I had a wax buildup. This was the first time for me seeing this particular doctor. My old one no longer took my insurance. Anyway he removed my wax (which, TMI, was HUGE. Like the size of the end of a q-tip. YUCK) and then he did a hearing test since I had never been there.

Well I knew something was wrong when he kept of retesting my right ear. Turns out I have pretty severe hearing loss in my right ear. Like he was shocked by it. I can hear normal everyday sounds, but when I get into loud places or when there is a lot of noise happening I cannot hear. He has asked me if something traumatic happened to my ear that may have caused the loss. Like a fire cracker going off right next to my ear. Nothing like that has ever happened to me (that I remember anyway) so he thinks it must of been during one of the many times I was sick. A virus must of caused the hearing loss. Or I could have been born this way. (anyone have lady gaga stuck in their ear now? lol)

The fact that I never really realized the hearing loss means that I've been dealing with it for years and have just adapted myself to it. Like for instance, I always tilt my right eat forward when talking to people. He told me that if it was a normal hearing person who had lost as much hearing as I have overnight, they wouldn't be able to deal with it. There would be a significant difference.

I am really upset over this. I've known for a while that I had some kind of hearing loss, but having it really explained to me like that scared the crap out of me. I don't want to lose my hearing. It's always been a fear of mine. I don't know what I would do, not being able to listen to music or watch a movie without sound. Or even just hearing waves crash at the beach.

He wants to see why caused the hearing loss. So I now have to go for a contrast MRI of my head. I hate hate IVs so I'm upset that I have to get the MRI done. But it'll be good to know if he can find out exactly what happened. And maybe prevent it from happening to my other ear.

For now I have to keep a closer watch on my ears. Yearly checkups and if I get another ear infection seeing the Dr immediately.

I just wish I wasn't so upset about this whole thing. I've been crying about it all morning. I need to perk up and just focus on making sure it doesn't get worse.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Tired of Driving

This past weekend was good, but there was just so much travelling that I feel exhausted.

I went down on Friday to see my friends in Maryland. Which should have take at most 2 and a half hours, took me FIVE. Ugh. The entire state of Delaware I sat in traffic. If you know me in real life, you would know how much I hate traffic. I actually get anxiety when I hit it. Thankfully I was able to not FREAK out while I was in it, but I was still pretty upset. As soon as I arrived at my friends house, all those bad feeling went away and I was able to enjoy myself.

We all went out to dinner and caught up on each other's lives. It was a really fun night out. Then my friend who's house I was staying at stayed up til pretty late just chatting. It made me realize how much I miss hanging out with them! I hate that I live so far away!

Saturday was my friend's baby shower. It was really cute and fun. She got so many presents I have NO idea how she's going to get them back to her house! I left shortly after the shower ended. The house where it was located, was close to Delaware so it made sense for me to go home right from there, instead of travelling back down again. What would have normally taken 2 hours, took me about 3 hours to get home. Not as bad as Friday, but still pretty sucky.

Also I stopped at a rest stop in NJ to go to the bathroom. When I stepped inside the line for the women's bathroom wrapped all the way around the rest area to the front door!! I couldn't believe it! I said forget this and just held my pee in. Which was pretty painful. lol. but there was no way I was waiting a good hour there.

I guess I didn't realize that Easter would be such a big traveling weekend. I figured since it's a religious holiday most people would stay in. I guess not. Probably since a lot of people were on spring break as well.

Sunday I headed to North Jersey to see my cousins. I had not seen a lot of them since Christmas so it was nice!! Also a lot of them noticed my weight loss! It felt really nice to have my efforts finally recognized and complimented. Although I felt a little awkward when some of them kept on going on and on about it.

I ate so much food on Sunday. I wanted to bust!! There was appetizers, homemade pasta, turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, veggies, and dessert. I get full just thinking about it! It was so yummy though and it was great spending the day with my family. We didn't get home until like 10pm. I was exhausted at work the next day.

I was barely home all weekend, and I am so looking forward to relaxing this coming weekend!!

How was your weekend?

Thursday, April 21, 2011

busy busy busy

This week is flying by for me!! I feel like I've had no time to stop and think!

I ordered a new laptop and it finally came in the mail on Monday. I've spent a lot of time setting it up and transferring files from my old computer to it. It is taking WAY longer than I thought it would and I still haven't even tried to move my music yet! That makes me the most nervous! However the new HP Laptop is amazing. It's so fast, pretty and light!! I cannot wait to toss out my old laptop!

Tomorrow I'm taking a half day off at work and going down to Maryland to see my college friends. One of my good friends is pregnant and her baby shower is Saturday. I didn't want to spend all day Saturday traveling, so I decided to make it a little trip and go down the day before. Plus she and her boyfriend moved into a new place and I really want to see it! Wrapping her gift last night took a while since the box was kinda big and I like my gifts to look beautiful when wrapped! lol

Sunday is Easter! I'll be going to my cousins house in northern Jersey like I do every year. I can't wait to see my family and eat some seriously awesome food! My mouth drools with just the thought of all the food that will be there!

I have a feeling this weekend will be a whirlwind but I can't wait! I also can't wait until the following weekend when I can finally relax! I haven't had a laid back weekend in too long!

Monday, April 18, 2011

There's no place like home

My stay in the hotel over the weekend kinda sucked. It wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be, but I still couldn't wait until I could go back home.

My mom snores. Loudly. Sharing a room with her was horrible. It is very hard for me to go to sleep, especially when I'm in a foreign place, so having my mom snore like Darth Vadar didn't help me. I was there 3 nights total, and I probably got 8 hours sleep for all three nights. AKA I am exhausted today. lol

The first night we were there, the person staying in the room next door was SCREAMING on the phone at midnight. It literally sounded like he was in the room with us. Eventually I had to go to the front desk to complain. I hate making complaints like, I usually just suffer through it, but I just couldn't deal with that obnoxiousness. Thankfully as soon as they called his room up, the noise stopped!!

I did manage to control my eating and I actually managed to lose a few pounds this week, so that was a major plus!!

My dogs were a wreck the whole weekend. They barely ate their food and would not poop. (Sorry TMI). They were so nervous one peed on the bed. Twice. Having the change those sheets was fun. lol. I felt terrible for them. Especially since I couldn't really take them out for a walk in the rain. They were stuck in the room.

Since I was cooped up in a hotel, I felt like I had to find things to do to keep me occupied. It was POURING rain out, which usually means I'm home watching tv in my PJs, but being in a hotel was different. I was going stir crazy. I hung out at my friend's house for a little, went to the gym, and saw Scream 4. I liked Scream 4, but it wasn't nearly as good as the very first scream. Plus I figured out who the killer was pretty quickly. I also ended up going out that night and was a wet dog inside the bar. lol. That rain was terrible.

Sunday bright and early we were able to go home. The floors look great, but having to move everything back was a bitch. After everything was settled in, I was finally able to sit back and relax. I felt like I hadn't been able to really relax since Thursday so it was nice to unwind. I am exhausted today and cannot wait to get home and go to sleep early.

How was your weekend?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Low Iron

I have very low iron and hemoglobin. For the past 6 months or so I've been taking iron to try and raise my levels. I take double the amount of iron recommended a day. (Can you say hello bathroom problems?)

I saw my doctor the other day and my last blood work came back and no change. I mean how can that be possible?? No Change?? I take iron like it's my job, I eat as much meat and other foods high in iron as possible. Yet still no change? Ugh.

My doctor thinks that my body just doesn't absorb iron normally. Which means in another 6 weeks if my iron and hemoglobin don't rise, I have to see a hematologist and probably get IV iron. Which really scares me. I hate needles very very much and that just makes me nervous.

So I'm hoping that we'll see some change this month. My doctor told me to take my iron pills with OJ because it helps it absorb better. Maybe that will help!!

Keep your fingers crossed!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Homeless for a few days...

Starting Thursday my mom is having our hardwood floor refinished and sealed. Which means no one can be home from Thursday until Sunday. Needless to say I'm not very happy about the situation.

One I don't think my mom needed to spend all this money right now. It wasn't something that had to be done. I would rather her save her money better. She has no concept of saving money for the future and it drives me crazy! It also makes me really nervous that she won't be able to retire when she would like too. I just wish I could get her to understand that.

Second I have my 2 dogs to worry about. Luckily my mom found a hotel that allows pets, but I worry that they will tear the place apart, or pee all over because they are in a strange place. I'll just have to walk them constantly. Also I'm going to try and spend as little time as possible in the room, or I'll go crazy, so they'll have to be in their cages longer than they usually are.

Third, packing up all my mom's lenox, figurines, vases and glasses from out wall unit and china cabinet was torture. It took two days to pack everything away and put them in the basement. I had no idea we had so much crap in the house. When the floors are finished we are going to have to put everything back. Ugh. Also tonight my brother and I have to move the couches, and tables out of the living room and dining room, so that will be fun.

Fourth, I'm worried about my eating. I won't have a kitchen to make my own food which means I have to eat out for a few days. I'm worried I'm going to over indulge and gain weight! I am terrible at picking healthy options. If I eat out, I usually go for what looks the best and is tastiest. I hope I will be strong enough to avoid temptation.

Sorry for the rant. This whole thing has just been a mess and I cannot wait until it's over. Hopefully by Sunday I'll be back in the house and back to normal.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Last week I ordered the cutest dress online from Macy's. I was so excited to get it in the mail. That package was delivered last night and when I opened it up, to my surprise there was no dress. Instead I got a WHITE T-SHIRT. WTF Macys???? How does someone packing up a shipment confuse a blue/green dress for a white t-shirt?? I mean aren't they supposed to double check these things? So now I have to get in touch with Macy's (because there is no way I'm paying for shipping to return this), and straighten this out and get what I freaking ordered! Have you ever had a mix up like this when shopping online?