Taking Steps to make changes

Little by little I'm starting to realize what I want to be when I grow up.... but it's terrifying. And the steps I need to do it, are also overwhelming. It would mean going back to school for one thing.Which would mean quiting this job and finding (hopefully) a part time job to support myself while I go back.

Here's the thing. I love to cook, bake more specifically. And people have told me time and time again how amazing I am. People actually tell me I should open a bakery. However I have no training in cooking whatsoever. But I think this is something that could truly fulfill me. I know I would absolutely have to take some classes. I'm not dumb enough to just jump off a cliff without a parachute. But fear plagues me.

What if I actually end up hating it? Or I fail miserably? I won't be able to have health insurance at least for a while. Do I really want to work for myself? Anyway I've decided to at least test the waters.

The community college near me actually has a wonderful and well known culinary school. I'm going to meet with someone in admissions to just gather as much information as I can get. Find out the costs, when classes are usually held, how long it would take. All of that. I know I'll hate myself forever if I don't at least check it out.

I also made an appointment to see a therapist. Just to talk things out. I struggle a lot with my body image and I know I have severe body dismorphia. I thought I would just eventually learn to accept the new me, but it's taking a lot longer. I've been also gaining weight recently and I think it's a combination of stress and sabotaging myself. Hopefully this goes well.

Now that I look at this blog, I'm taking a lot of steps to a newer better me. And hopefully will continue to progress as time goes on!

Making Resolutions (and sticking to them!)

I've never been big on making resolutions. I'm one of those people that doesn't believe in waiting for the "right" time to make changes. If you want to make a change, today is the day to start! Not next week or anything like that. However I'm going to change my tune this year. 2012 wasn't a particularly great year and I'm determined to change that and make 2013 wonderful!!

So here are my resolutions (some of them have already been in the works, but now I MUST accomplish them). This is why I like blogs, it holds me accountable.

* Get a new job. I've been kinda sorta looking, but now it's time to turn it up. It's time for a new challenge for me.

* Pay off my credit card. After getting money from my generous family for Christmas I was able to officially pay off one of my credit cards. (Under no circumstance am I allowed to use it from now on). Now it's on to the next one. I plan on paying it off in the next three months. By May 1 2013, I will have no more credit card debt!

* Once my credit cards have been paid off, my plan is to save $800 dollars a month out of my paycheck. So it all goes to plan I will save over $6,000 this year.

* Hit my goal weight! I've come so so far in my weight loss. I am not even close to the person I used to be, but I've gotten a little too comfortable lately and I'm up about 10 pounds right now. Now that's not even close to what I've lost, but I'm not happy. Everything is just way too tight right now. I want to lose these stubborn last 25 pounds already. They WILL be gone this year!

* Run my very first half marathon. Scheduled for the first weekend in May!! CAN"T WAIT!!! It's been on my bucket list forever.

* Run 1,000 miles (running, bike, elliptical, anything). Last year I attempted to run 1,000 miles and ended up falling short over 300 miles. Hopefully I'll hit 1,000 but being able to count all my other cardio!

I love my resolutions and I am confident I'll be able to accomplish all of them!! Here's to a better year for me and for everyone!

See you next year!

This past week has been crazy. I was in Texas from Saturday through Tuesday for work and I've just been playing catch up on work because I will be off all next week until January 2.

I'm not sad to see this year end. While some amazing things have happened, the second half of this year has been kind of a bust. And it's just getting a little bit worse at the moment. I can't really talk about it, but know I'm not in the best place right now. Because of it, I'm eating like there's no tomorrow.

I'm tired of being stressed and feeling/eating like this. So I've decided, I'm going to enjoy my week off, enjoy being with my family, especially my niece. Re energize and plot out my next moves. I have big big plans for 2013 and I plan on seeing them through!

So this will be my last blog of 2012. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!! I'll see you on the bright side of 2013!

Not quite ready to let go

I feel like this little blog of mine is dying a slow and painful death. I feel like I have no words for it lately. I'm not ready to let it go just yet though. I've had this blog for years now and it really shows just how far I've come as a person. I've grown so much on this blog and it's helped me work through a lot of crap.

I don't post very often, but I do still like updating. We'll see how much longer I'll keep it up though. Maybe if things start to change (ie find a new job or get a boyfriend lol) I'll get a burst of energy and enthusiasm for writing.

This weekend I'm going to Texas for work. I didn't realize it at the time it was booked, but going away for 4 days the week before Christmas blows. I'm missing out on so much this weekend. So many holiday parties to be had. And I'll be stuck at a convention. Thankfully I'm going with my closest friend at work and we do get a decent amount of down time. Here's hoping for warm weather and really good tex mex!

Also I've been done with Christmas shopping for weeks now and I wrapped all my presents this past weekend. So I'm ahead of the game. When I get back, I'll only have 3 days to work and then I'm off for 11 days!!! Yay!!!! I cannot wait for this! Christmas this year should be awesome. My brother and his family are coming up for a few days. So I'll get to spend Christmas with my niece, bake cookies and do all that fun stuff with a toddler. Then I may be going down to the DC area for a couple of days to spend more time with them. And hopefully see some of my friends from college.

It's been so crazy busy for me and it's just going to get even crazier starting this weekend. It's going to be a whirlwind and I hope I'll be able to take some time and just enjoy everything around me. I just love this time of year!

Thankful for long weekends and races

Thanksgiving was great day! I love spending time with my family and the food! Oh the food!!! It was just the best ever. The turkey was probably the best my mom has ever made. The mashed potatoes which are by far my favorite were divine and the desserts was out of this world! I ate until I about busted.

I had gone out the night before and didn't get home until crazy late. Then woke up with the chickens on Thursday. I ran 5 miles to prepare for my day of eating and then went to my brother's football game. He's a coach and it's the biggest football game of the year. Thousands of people go and it's always fun to see people you went to school with. Then it was a whole day with my crazy family and eating. Needless to say, I went to bed at 8:30 that night. I was exhausted. However it was a good thing because I was up at 4:30 just in time for Black Friday shopping!!

Yes I am one of the crazies who goes shopping. I have to say though the crowds weren't bad at all and I was able to get everything I needed and more. I am officially done with my Christmas shopping! :) and of course I got some goodies for myself.

The rest of the weekend was nice and relaxed. Which is what I needed. I was able to decompress and relieve some stress. Then on Sunday I ran my first 15K race.

It was the hardest race I've ever did. Not only have I never ran 9.3 miles before, but the course was extremely hilly. The race itself is called a challenge and they are not kidding. One steep hill after another. At some points I was practically walking because it was such a huge hill. Also it was freezing out. It's a very weird feeling to be sweating and also freezing at the same time.

Finishing that race was one of the most accomplishing things I've ever done. It also made me realize I really need to buckle down and train for the half marathon I'm doing in May. I finished the race in one hour and 41 minutes. About a 10:45 min pace. Which is exactly where I wanted to be! If it wasn't for those hills, I think I could have shaved at least 10 minutes off that time. It's so crazy how far I've come and how much your body is capable of doing. I'm amazed every day at the fact that I can do races like these now.

Weekend Trip and Race in Boston

Time really is flying by. I can't believe it's Turkey day in two days!! It is by far my favorite holiday and I cannot wait to see my family. Since the hurricane things are slowly getting back to normal. There is no more gas problem here thankfully and we are starting to rebuild. It feels good to be getting back into a routine again.

This past weekend I went up to Boston with some friends from the gym. We had an amazing opportunity to do a Spartan Race inside Fenway Park. It was one of the coolest things I've ever did. The race was awesome and I did pretty well in it too. I finished in the top 30% of all racers! Not too shabby.

About to Start!

Fenway!

Climbing over a wall! All by myself for once

Climbing up a ladder over rafters

Carrying concrete

Down a cargo net

Box jumps

All my gym buddies inside the dugout

Spartan Finishers!

On the field!

This was an experience I'll never forget. A lot of the obstacles I was able to do all on my own for the first time. Which was amazing for me to be able to do. Now I only have two days left of work before the long weekend. I can't wait to relax, eat awesome food and do some serious shopping. Followed by my first 9 mile race on Sunday!! EEK!!