A very long introduction (part one)

Being that this is my first official blog, I thought I would begin with a little back-story and how I decided to, against my previous position on the matter, to become a blogger. Let's start with the easiest, why am I doing this??? I never really understood why anyone would put their deepest thoughts and secrets up on the web for all to see. I would read these things and feel as though I had just broken into someone's bedroom, looked under their pillow, and broke the little lock. Here I was reading someone's personal thoughts and I would feel guilty because I now know these peoples secrets. Also because I now judge them based on these thoughts and feelings. I would also feel guilty because then I couldn't get enough of it. I was reading dozens of blogs each week to see what my new faux friends were saying. It was like being a fly on the wall. I am reading about the lives of other people and what they really think, and the best part was they had no idea who I was! I was a spy getting the pertinent information needed to save the world, well not really but I did start to feel special that these people whom I never met, and would never meet under normal circumstances were allowing me into their lives, even if it was via blogging. And than I started to imagine what it would be like on the other side. How did these faux friends of mine feel each time they blogged???

And I guess this is why I decided to become a blogger, to see what the other side feels like. I find it oddly liberating to be able to share my thoughts and feelings in a forum where no one knows who I am. Also, I’ve tried keeping a journal but I just get to lazy about it and never remembered to write in it. Having a blog will, (hopefully) help me keep up with it. And for me personally, writing is a way for me to deal with my feelings and work through whatever problems I am facing. I used to go to therapy when my depression and anxiety was getting to a point of no return. My counselor told me whenever I couldn’t sleep, what getting panicky or way to emotional I should just write, since that is what I feel most comfortable doing. And I gotta say every time I do write, even if its just babble, I automatically feel better and I can sleep soundly and in peace. And that in a very big nutshell is why I am doing this. Okay since this entry has officially become to long, I think I will leave the get to know me part for another day. I mean I’m not expecting a lot of people or even anyone to read this. So I think it can wait a little.