Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Knocked Out

My cousin has been slowly improving. He's awake but still on a ventilator. He can breath on his own, but the dr's won't take him off the vent until he follows certain commands. He is aware of what's going on and has even smiled with his brother. I wish he didn't live so far away from me and I could go there and visit.

I'm happy that he is surrounded by his family. His brother lives in Alaska and flew in right away. His dad lives in Florida but came as soon as he heard. Same with his mother. Even a few of his friends have come down. I just can't wait until he's finally off the vent. It's going to be months and month for rehab though. And he'll never be able to do his job again. That's the worst. He loved his job (commercial diver) more than anything. Now he's back at square one. He'll most likely go live with my uncle while he recoups and figures out his next step. I guess that's the one plus of him being so young. He's only 20; he has plenty of time to figure things out.

It's crazy how something like this can unravel you. I've been in a daze every since I found out about the accident. I think about him non-stop. I have no motivation to go to the gym. All I want to do is be home. I'm going through the motions and I'm still working out. But that spark isn't there.

This past weekend I went to Baltimore to visit some friends. It was a great visit and a much needed distraction. However when I got home on Sunday, I was exhausted. We didn't really do much, but I guess everything just caught up with me. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I was supposed to go out for drinks before the super bowl and then to my friends to watch the game, but I ended up staying home. I just wanted to be home with my family. My brother had a few friends come over, but they are basically like family.

It was just what I needed though. My mom made homemade pizza and chili. I made brownies and buffalo chicken dip. We all just dug in and enjoyed the game. As soon as the game ended, I went to bed and slept so soundly. I hadn't slept that well in days. I was thankful for that. Sometimes I just need to listen to my body and relax.

Every day I feel like I'm getting back to my old self. But I'm not going to push myself too hard. The last thing I want to happen, is me slipping into depression. I have no real plans this weekend and I plan on taking full advantage and just relax.

1 comment:

Maggie said...

Im so sorry about your fustrations. That is a bummer. But you will get through it.

On a differnt note, I love your blog. Blogging is really thearpy and its a TON cheaper. The more I write on mine the more I realize who I am as a person. Its cool but really weird to just put myself out there for everyone. How do you do it? Do you get used to it? My blog is Check it out.